A father and son are shopping for a frozen Christmas turkey in a supermarket
Son: Mom wants a small turkey for Christmas this year
Dad: What about this one?
Son: No, that's too big
Dad: What about this one?
Son: No, still too big
Dad: This one?
Son: No
Dad: WELL WHAT DOES SHE WANT, A FUCKING BUDGIE!!!!!
Would perhaps work as a gag amongst many in a sitcom but not a standalone joke, me thinks.
Cheers Jack, it's in a script I've just written, I wasn't sure about it so I thought I'd throw it in here just to see if it generated any comments. I appreciate yours.
Hey Marwood
I'm with Jack on this one. It doesn't possess that killer punch.
Not sure whst age the son is but I imagine he is not a kid as the dad swears. Perhaps you could drag it out a little longer with dad producing turkey after turkey before the son remembers what his Mom actually said "Ahhhhh.....
It was chicken she wanted"
Good luck with the script.
The main problem is that it's not funny.
Thanks all for the feedback
With a script, its all to do with the context, and that of the characters traits.
For example like the Basil Fawlty line in the episode "communication problems" in which his hard of hearing and demanding guest requests a better view out of the rhe window in their room, to which he replies with a similar blast of exasperation;
"what did you expect, ...the hanging gardens of Babylon..."
Apologies, I can't remember the exact dialogue but it rings true in narrative lead comedy.
I agree with Craig, explore other ways of making it funnier, thread something in there before the incident to increase "the funny"
So to go on! Hope this helps.
Sorry to go on*
Thanks Jack, I probably should have given a brief outline of the script I'm working on before I tested that gag on here. It's about a 40 year who has to move back in with his parents after his marriage fails and he loses his job. He also has his 15 yr old son in tow. His parents are in their late 60's, his dad is a foul mouthed ex sheet metal worker and his mother is suffering from the early stages of senility.
I just dropped the 'gag' in the forum to see if it worked or not and get as many opinions on it as I could.
It's a decent sitcom joke I guess.
But context is every as the man send an SMS to a prisoner said.
Thanks y'all...