British Comedy Guide

The Show What You Wrote Page 12

Quote: Bomsh @ April 4 2013, 1:03 PM BST

Actually, you don't always get paid ... or credited.

Are you a timelord? As far as I know this show hasn't been made yet.

Quote: Otterfox @ April 4 2013, 11:15 AM BST

I don't really understand why some people are so against contributing to this show.

Because people like to complain.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ April 3 2013, 8:48 AM BST

I hope all your 33 sketches aren't as nonsensical as that sentence or it might've been a pretty severe waste of your time, no?

The points of my posts were that this thing isn't as big a deal as some like you appear to think it is. Please delude yourself if you want, but if you believe getting a sketch aired on this gravetime slot show will get you onto other shows or even get you anywhere with the Beeb then you are silly - very.

This is a PR stunt by them to appease the growing throng of scribblers unhappy at not getting anything through WR. It keeps the more easily satisfied among you off their case and lets you think you're a real script writer of sorts, if that's the sort of thing you're after.

Also, it possibly does give their contracted writers more material to use on bigger and better shows. All the readers reading your sketches will work in the industry in some way, and this is like being given a free supermarket sweep for them. So if you see Armstrong & Miller doing one of 'your' sketches there won't be thing you can do about it.

cue evil laugh again

I haven't seen anyone describe this show as a big deal and quit their job and divorce their partner to write for it, it is what it is, an opportunity for anyone with talent to show it and a vehicle for the producers to air some new voices. If you think you can write for the show based on what you've heard from the same producers, then why wouldn't you? If you've not had success with this kind of thing before then why put others off just because you have failed? What would you consider important enough to grace with your musings? If writers cannot delude themselves from time to time then nobody here would ever write a thing, please allow us this pleasure wise old sage, sometimes it is all we have.

Unless you're a safari park chimp incapable of following a brief and researching the appropriate slant to take for this show, then this can become a big deal for anyone. However, if you're constantly flinging the same old faeces at a family saloon hoping for a banana, then it's your own fault that you've never adapted and learned to crack open the back window, beat the passengers to death and feast on the youngest (they put up less of a fight).

If I spent my life writing things only for me, with no consideration of audience or format, safe in the knowledge that I know best, then I too may have become a bitter old cynic who views any new opportunity with suspicion, but please keep this to yourself unless you know for certain a particular producer is a complete shit and will definitely steal your work, because you're talking utter bollocks otherwise and discouraging others from what could be a worthwhile opportunity. It is very easy to come up with reasons not to write something, apathy, self-pleasure, alcohol, fancy hats...don't give people more reasons unnecessarily.

I have started submitting to this and NJ to further myself, I've had positive experiences and constructive feedback but also a fair amount of rejection. I imagine most people here are in the same boat, so it is up to me to impress the producers who know my name and style. If I fail to do that it is because I have not written in the correct tone or because I've just not been funny enough, not because there's some secret conspiracy to placate a legion of wannabe writers on a message board. I have news for you, producers don't get paid to make keyboard warriors think everything is gonna be just dandy, they get things commissioned because they genuinely believe in the format.

People like you are the problem with these boards and the reason I rarely bother with them, what is the point of you speculating about ulterior motives behind such a commission? Are you trying to put other people off because again, you know best? I know for a fact the show is not a PR stunt, but I also know that no amount of facts, reason or logic would sway someone like you, embittered by years of banging your head against a brick wall. You keep banging my friend, the rest of us will use the door.

cue a critique of how funny my post was as opposed to an admission of cynical twattery and an actual response to my argument.

Totally agree, I just like the factual posts on this forum.

There's a lot of opinions given by people who really don't have the experience or expertise to dispense them.

As Dirty Harry said, 'opinions are like arseholes everybody's got one'.

Quote: ash williamson @ April 4 2013, 1:56 PM BST

I haven't seen anyone describe this show as a big deal and quit their job and divorce their partner to write for it, it is what it is, an opportunity for anyone with talent to show it and a vehicle for the producers to air some new voices. If you think you can write for the show based on what you've heard from the same producers, then why wouldn't you? If you've not had success with this kind of thing before then why put others off just because you have failed? What would you consider important enough to grace with your musings? If writers cannot delude themselves from time to time then nobody here would ever write a thing, please allow us this pleasure wise old sage, sometimes it is all we have.

Unless you're a safari park chimp incapable of following a brief and researching the appropriate slant to take for this show, then this can become a big deal for anyone. However, if you're constantly flinging the same old faeces at a family saloon hoping for a banana, then it's your own fault that you've never adapted and learned to crack open the back window, beat the passengers to death and feast on the youngest (they put up less of a fight).

If I spent my life writing things only for me, with no consideration of audience or format, safe in the knowledge that I know best, then I too may have become a bitter old cynic who views any new opportunity with suspicion, but please keep this to yourself unless you know for certain a particular producer is a complete shit and will definitely steal your work, because you're talking utter bollocks otherwise and discouraging others from what could be a worthwhile opportunity. It is very easy to come up with reasons not to write something, apathy, self-pleasure, alcohol, fancy hats...don't give people more reasons unnecessarily.

I have started submitting to this and NJ to further myself, I've had positive experiences and constructive feedback but also a fair amount of rejection. I imagine most people here are in the same boat, so it is up to me to impress the producers who know my name and style. If I fail to do that it is because I have not written in the correct tone or because I've just not been funny enough, not because there's some secret conspiracy to placate a legion of wannabe writers on a message board. I have news for you, producers don't get paid to make keyboard warriors think everything is gonna be just dandy, they get things commissioned because they genuinely believe in the format.

People like you are the problem with these boards and the reason I rarely bother with them, what is the point of you speculating about ulterior motives behind such a commission? Are you trying to put other people off because again, you know best? I know for a fact the show is not a PR stunt, but I also know that no amount of facts, reason or logic would sway someone like you, embittered by years of banging your head against a brick wall. You keep banging my friend, the rest of us will use the door.

cue a critique of how funny my post was as opposed to an admission of cynical twattery and an actual response to my argument.

All that and you're still not bothering to think about who is offering this 'great prize'. The practical reality is you will get whatever the rates are for an aired radio sketch, 30 odd quid or something per sketch and that's it.

Unless you send in several from each category of such quality they want to air, they will not think you're remarkable, they will think you're roughly the same as the hundreds of other sketch contributors. This will get you paid some reasonable money, enough for a nice meal out to celebrate, but it won't get you anywhere with the BBC. By all means put the 'credit' on your CV, but I think when they read where the credit is from they won't be taking it very seriously. It really is a show for the people who can't and won't get produced any other way. It's an olive branch.

It's possible they could use the best sketches of the series for higher profile shows including TV, then you should get a better credit. I don't have a clue if this is in their future plans tho. No it does you no real harm, other than take a lot of your spare time to write 30 plus sketches. It may be good practice, unless your material, style or technique is not good in which case you're just practising how to write badly.

Like I said, I see it as an olive branch, a PR stunt mainly, and yes it fills some airspace and may feasibly help uncover a new writer for them, but their sketches would have to be brilliant and stand out from the rest to get them this notice. The Beeb/producer will still have all the hundreds of unaired sketches, and okay, you have faith not a single one of them will find their way into the head of some unscrupulous reader or producer with ambitions of their own. So go ahead, but allow me my own views. It's a damn sight easier for them, with industry contacts and friends to do something with a half decent sketch idea than it is for you, whether you thought of it first or not.

Back to my first point - you're looking at me and not at who's running this. Now try looking at who's running this. I'm not, it's the BBC. What do their WR rules say? 'No sketches or sketch shows.' This tells you all you need to know, really. They put a show out for you because they won't have your stuff in their mainstream shows, which are all sewn up. Sketches and shows only go to recognised writers. If you want to be a professional sketch writer I reackon it'll take you 20 years to even get a meeting with a BBC producer, unless you're an unearthed Peter Cook, and like I say, unquestionably brilliant.

Wouldn't you be better trying to be a writer first, meaning a proper narrative writer, and send them what they ask you to send? I'd say it's a quicker route to becoming a BBC sketch writer than sending in sketches to over competetive comps, tho both are undoubtedly extremely hard routes to real success.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ April 4 2013, 7:23 PM BST

All that and you're still not bothering to think about who is offering this 'great prize'. The practical reality is you will get whatever the rates are for an aired radio sketch, 30 odd quid or something per sketch and that's it.

Unless you send in several from each category of such quality they want to air, they will not think you're remarkable, they will think you're roughly the same as the hundreds of other sketch contributors. This will get you paid some reasonable money, enough for a nice meal out to celebrate, but it won't get you anywhere with the BBC. By all means put the 'credit' on your CV, but I think when they read where the credit is from they won't be taking it very seriously. It really is a show for the people who can't and won't get produced any other way. It's an olive branch.

It's possible they could use the best sketches of the series for higher profile shows including TV, then you should get a better credit. I don't have a clue if this is in their future plans tho. No it does you no real harm, other than take a lot of your spare time to write 30 plus sketches. It may be good practice, unless your material, style or technique is not good in which case you're just practising how to write badly.

Like I said, I see it as an olive branch, a PR stunt mainly, and yes it fills some airspace and may feasibly help uncover a new writer for them, but their sketches would have to be brilliant and stand out from the rest to get them this notice. The Beeb/producer will still have all the hundreds of unaired sketches, and okay, you have faith not a single one of them will find their way into the head of some unscrupulous reader or producer with ambitions of their own. So go ahead, but allow me my own views. It's a damn sight easier for them, with industry contacts and friends to do something with a half decent sketch idea than it is for you, whether you thought of it first or not.

Back to my first point - you're looking at me and not at who's running this. Now try looking at who's running this. I'm not, it's the BBC. What do their WR rules say? 'No sketches or sketch shows.' This tells you all you need to know, really. They put a show out for you because they won't have your stuff in their mainstream shows, which are all sewn up. Sketches and shows only go to recognised writers. If you want to be a professional sketch writer I reackon it'll take you 20 years to even get a meeting with a BBC producer, unless you're an unearthed Peter Cook, and like I say, unquestionably brilliant.

Wouldn't you be better trying to be a writer first, meaning a proper narrative writer, and send them what they ask you to send? I'd say it's a quicker route to becoming a BBC sketch writer than sending in sketches to over competetive comps, tho both are undoubtedly extremely hard routes to real success.

Christ, are you Kim Jong Un in disguise? You certainly know how to antagonise people with demented rhetoric...

Quote: Otterfox @ April 4 2013, 11:15 AM BST

we get credited as writing for the bbc and we are putting ourselves in the way of producers etc. For me it's a no-brainer.

I don't quite have your optimism in this regard, certainly not to any degree that's career changing.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ April 4 2013, 7:23 PM BST

All that and you're still not bothering to think about who is offering this 'great prize'. The practical reality is you will get whatever the rates are for an aired radio sketch, 30 odd quid or something per sketch and that's it.

Unless you send in several from each category of such quality they want to air, they will not think you're remarkable, they will think you're roughly the same as the hundreds of other sketch contributors. This will get you paid some reasonable money, enough for a nice meal out to celebrate, but it won't get you anywhere with the BBC. By all means put the 'credit' on your CV, but I think when they read where the credit is from they won't be taking it very seriously. It really is a show for the people who can't and won't get produced any other way. It's an olive branch.

It's possible they could use the best sketches of the series for higher profile shows including TV, then you should get a better credit. I don't have a clue if this is in their future plans tho. No it does you no real harm, other than take a lot of your spare time to write 30 plus sketches. It may be good practice, unless your material, style or technique is not good in which case you're just practising how to write badly.

Like I said, I see it as an olive branch, a PR stunt mainly, and yes it fills some airspace and may feasibly help uncover a new writer for them, but their sketches would have to be brilliant and stand out from the rest to get them this notice. The Beeb/producer will still have all the hundreds of unaired sketches, and okay, you have faith not a single one of them will find their way into the head of some unscrupulous reader or producer with ambitions of their own. So go ahead, but allow me my own views. It's a damn sight easier for them, with industry contacts and friends to do something with a half decent sketch idea than it is for you, whether you thought of it first or not.

Back to my first point - you're looking at me and not at who's running this. Now try looking at who's running this. I'm not, it's the BBC. What do their WR rules say? 'No sketches or sketch shows.' This tells you all you need to know, really. They put a show out for you because they won't have your stuff in their mainstream shows, which are all sewn up. Sketches and shows only go to recognised writers. If you want to be a professional sketch writer I reackon it'll take you 20 years to even get a meeting with a BBC producer, unless you're an unearthed Peter Cook, and like I say, unquestionably brilliant.

Wouldn't you be better trying to be a writer first, meaning a proper narrative writer, and send them what they ask you to send? I'd say it's a quicker route to becoming a BBC sketch writer than sending in sketches to over competetive comps, tho both are undoubtedly extremely hard routes to real success.

Sold! Don't bother doing anything because you probably won't get anywhere. Screw writing for fun, that's for losers. Writing to get something on the Beeb and show off to your mates? Nah. Writing to get better at writing? What's the point.

Instead simply 'be a writer first, meaning a proper narrative writer, and send them what they ask you to send'

Best. Advice. Ever.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ April 4 2013, 7:23 PM BST

Wouldn't you be better trying to be a writer first, meaning a proper narrative writer, and send them what they ask you to send? I'd say it's a quicker route to becoming a BBC sketch writer than sending in sketches to over competetive comps, tho both are undoubtedly extremely hard routes to real success.

It's tough enough as it is without you telling people the truth.

Stop it!!

Quote: Jinky @ April 4 2013, 8:05 PM BST

It's tough enough as it is without you telling people the truth.

Stop it!!

Testify!

Step away from your keyboards people. There is no point to doing anything ever.

He didn't say 'Do nothing', he said that there are better ways to be a writer.

Can I get a witness??!!

Apropos of nothing, what are you guys working on at the mo?

Quote: Trinder @ April 4 2013, 8:11 PM BST

Apropos of nothing, what are you guys working on at the mo?

My biceps....

Quote: Jinky @ April 4 2013, 8:13 PM BST

My biceps....

No point, you'll only get old and die and then you'll have wasted all that time getting your biceps all nice.

Of course it can be worthwhile sending stuff to opportunities like this. At the very least, the fact it gets people working to a brief is good experience for writers.

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