British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,212

Quote: Nigel Ball @ March 15 2013, 11:56 AM GMT

... they are sending your kids home for stupid, stupid things like "furry pencil cases" and "cardigans" "ribbons/hair bobbles...

... there are kids in there school that do wear trainers and hoodies but they aint sent home!

If that's the case, perhaps you should take it to a higher authority - higher even than the BCG!

http://www.education.gov.uk/aboutdfe/executiveagencies/efa/efaebulletins/h00214013/issue-12/article-06

Quote: Lazzard @ March 15 2013, 12:04 PM GMT

If that's the case, perhaps you should take it to a higher authority - higher even than the BCG!

http://www.education.gov.uk/aboutdfe/executiveagencies/efa/efaebulletins/h00214013/issue-12/article-06

The European Comedy Guide?

Quote: Lazzard @ March 15 2013, 11:43 AM GMT

I don't think they send enough kids home.
When the majority of parents have gone through the hell of persuading their kids to wear sensible shoes and then some little tyke with piss-weak parents gets away with rolling up up in trainers, it rather undermines everyones else's efforts.

Schools have 'duty of care'. So kicking a pupil off the premises, where they may be attacked or robbed, is very much a last resort.

Chuck 'em out for good reasons, sure, drugs or weapons. But banished for having incorrect shoes, scarves or pants? Not for me.

Quote: don rushmore @ March 15 2013, 12:32 PM GMT

Schools have 'duty of care'. So kicking a pupil off the premises, where they may be attacked or robbed, is very much a last resort.

Chuck 'em out for good reasons, sure, drugs or weapons. But banished for having incorrect shoes, scarves or pants? Not for me.

I don't think they kick them out - they inform the parents etc etc

Quote: Lazzard @ March 15 2013, 1:55 PM GMT

I don't think they kick them out - they inform the parents etc etc

They do, sometimes. Here's a story from my local paper:

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10156586.25_suspended_by_new_hardline_headteacher_at_Portslade_school/

"The new head of a city academy is at the centre of a row after a discipline blitz saw dozens of pupils suspended in less than a week.

The crackdown has seen more than 25 pupils disciplined at Portslade Aldridge Community Academy (PACA) for offences since term began on Monday.

The Argus understands scores more pupils have been sent home to smarten up.
/..../

One man who said he was a teacher at the academy stated: "The reasons range from skirts being too high to wearing nail varnish and bright lipstick."

If we wore nail varnish we got sent to the science assistant lady's office and she took it off with some kind of special scary-smelling scientific remover.

Quote: zooo @ March 15 2013, 2:15 PM GMT

If we wore nail varnish we got sent to the science assistant lady's office and she took it off with some kind of special scary-smelling scientific remover.

I'm sure about six episodes of Doctor Who have started like this.

I wish.

My wife leaving the toilet seat down pisses me off.

That hole is small enough without her increasing the level of difficulty. She even has the cheek to complain if I overshoot or drop short. Honestly, soooo frustrating Angry

Quote: Jockadoodle @ March 15 2013, 8:02 PM GMT

My wife leaving the toilet seat down pisses me off.

Laughing out loud

I was not a happy bunny when the power went off 5 mins before the end of a film today.

15-17 year old girls at comedy gigs who laugh too much at stuff. Also their parents for letting them go.

Quote: Nogget @ March 14 2013, 7:48 AM GMT

Some history is taught as part of a subject called "Opening Minds". Despite its name, this subject doesn't seem to seek to open the pupils minds much.

Opening Minds is generally used as part of a school's transition programme to bridge the gap between primary - where kids have one teacher - and secondary -where this could increase to fourteen or more. By combining a number of subjects under the umbrella of Opening Minds this means they have one teacher for that subject instead of 4 or 5 for the separate subjects.

That's the theory anyway. The problem is it tends to be a bit wishy-washy and students and parents, and some teachers, generally don't 'get' it which I can quite understand.

Quote: Nigel Ball @ March 13 2013, 4:50 PM GMT

Its all true! And let me tell you something else. My second youngest daughter came home and told me that "Einstein" invented the light bulb. So I set the record straight and left it at that.

The next day I went in to the school to see the said teacher. I asked him what the
"Einstein" thing was about and he said (QUOTE) I got my "Einstein" mixed up with my "EDISON" so jokingly I said " Lets hope you don't get your wife's minge mixed up with her anus!"

The nob gobbler took me to court (only because I made him go from 6 foot 2 to 2 foot 6 with a few words in front of his peers and mentors) anyway, the case lasted all of 45 seconds. But the best thing about all this was,the case was thrown out and the judge told him in front of everybody, peers included, that it was "EDISON" NOT "Einstein" that invented the light bulb. How I laughed!

He now gives me a wide birth at the school. Just goes to show you that those Teachers aint always right. 80% of teachers are a bunch of DICKS!!.

You sound a spiffing chap.

Quote: Nigel Ball @ March 14 2013, 10:16 AM GMT

Teachers these days are lazy, arrogant, ignorant, thick as pig shit, over paid wankers of the highest degree!

Rolling eyes

Quote: Nigel Ball @ March 13 2013, 4:02 PM GMT

I bet it will be the school and their stupid, stupid ways. We go through this all the time with our 3 girls. Schools have a really bad habit these days showing the kids how to do things backwards. And the kids for some reason think that's the right way.

This annoys me too. The methods my son is taught Maths by seem bewildering to me and just plain wrong. In reality the teaching methods have changed since I was at school and because they're different to what I was used to, they are not as good. Certainly I think my son's school could do more to inform parents of the teaching methods used so that they could be used at home too.

Quote: Nogget @ March 14 2013, 10:43 AM GMT

I have problems with this, too.

Our headmaster spouted statistics that while pupils with over 95% attendance record passed 75% of their exams, those with under 95% attendance only got 35%
at the same grade. He then went on to say that this statistic
clearly showed that the more a child goes to school, the more likely they are to pass their exams.

Of course, attending classes generally helps your education, but here he was telling us that this statistical correlation implies a causation. It doesn't.

Of the 'under 95% attendees', how many only came in twice a week, or
perhaps didn't ever turn up? They probably failed the most
exams, yet we're being asked to compare them to pupils with over 95%
attendance. Surely it would be more meaningful to compare pupils who
attended between 90% and to 95% of the time, with the over 95%
brigade? This graph is says it better:

http://www.judgemeadow.leicester.sch.uk/_files/images/Care%20and%20Support/56EB0B35EB5F3F018C3937571B05E0CC.png

You have a point, but the single biggest pointable correlation in terms of achievement is that between attendance and attainment.

Quote: Nogget @ March 15 2013, 2:03 PM GMT

They do, sometimes. Here's a story from my local paper:

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10156586.25_suspended_by_new_hardline_headteacher_at_Portslade_school/

"The new head of a city academy is at the centre of a row after a discipline blitz saw dozens of pupils suspended in less than a week.

The crackdown has seen more than 25 pupils disciplined at Portslade Aldridge Community Academy (PACA) for offences since term began on Monday.

The Argus understands scores more pupils have been sent home to smarten up.
/..../

One man who said he was a teacher at the academy stated: "The reasons range from skirts being too high to wearing nail varnish and bright lipstick."

They do, but often it's a line in the sand. If kids won't wear the correct uniform, the assumption is that they won't follow the other rules either. Whether this is correct or not, it's a commonly used shibboleth.

When you agree to meet someone at what seems like a reasonable hour but forget to factor in traveling time.

Bye Bye sleep in.

You have a point, but the single biggest pointable correlation in terms of achievement is that between attendance and attainment.

Mayhap, but plain common sense immediately tells you that they are both sub-factors (consequences) of the child having a real desire to learn, not consequences of each other.

The continuity announcer on E4 that sounds like she has about two litres of thick sticky mucus up each nostril

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