British Comedy Guide

Newsjack - Series 8 Page 30

You got invited in - I reckon that's winning Newsjack lottery rollover. I'm not holding my breath for an email, I wrote a couple of mental sketches about bacterial resistance being like allo allo and an interview with a snow day skiving teacher.

Wrote a Bonnie Tyler one liner though it was very silly, I might just tweet them all on Thursday evenings.

Best of luck to all you paperbiles (papabiles, oh God I'm never gonna get another one in am I)

My 3 sketches were on Red Nose Day, Train Baby and Government Policy Advisors. Always interesting to see what others chose for their subjects, it's the balance between going for the main stories that everyone knows about and having something original enough to stand out... he says with 0 out of 12 on the sketch front so far.

I can safely say my Justin opener will not be used - more than likely wouldn't have been used if he was hosting anyway but nice to be able to blame other people for it

Anyone received an email yet?

Nothing yet.

I just got one this second telling me I got something in!

I've just got the 'Recorded but cut' e-mail which means the e-mails are going out now.

Although think they're being very generous as nothing I recognised as mine in the recording last night!

Recorded but cut here as-well. Will anyone who was there be kind enough to give a run-down of what was recorded last night?

Looks like I've missed again.

Alas, it seems I haven't got in again. Oh well.

Quote: evelynblake @ March 14 2013, 5:39 PM GMT

Recorded but cut here as-well. Will anyone who was there be kind enough to give a run-down of what was recorded last night?

I was there so hit me with your three sketches and I'll see what I can remember. (I have to say they were being very generous as it sounded like I'd got nothing in last night).

Got naff all in again. I don't think topical and I get on very well.

Judge for yourself in critique.

Quote: StephenM @ March 14 2013, 5:43 PM GMT

I was there so hit me with your three sketches and I'll see what I can remember. (I have to say they were being very generous as it sounded like I'd got nothing in last night).

One sketch about Theresa May furthering her threat to withdraw from human rights by threatening to withdraw from the human race. And two jack apps that I'll post on the off-chance they strike a chord:

Apparently a mother in Middlesbrough gave her 13 year old daughter three ecstasy tablets as a birthday present. If that were my daughter expecting ecstasy as a gift I'd grab her by the arm and say "listen here little lady, this is what you're getting for your birthday"; SMACK! I'm not saying I'd hit her, I'm saying I'd give her heroin instead. She's already too hyperactive.

I've just heard the weatherman on the telly say "Soon most of the South will be completely white". I knew this day would come! People laughed at us in the BNP but clearly the people have turned, chased out diversity from their streets and... oh hang on, just looked out the window. It's snowing. I see. Oh well, back to being alone.

Ah nothing for me this week, I was more hopeful than the other times I've got something in as well...best just start drinking to numb the pain of rejection I guess.

My rejects are in critique.

I'm off to wallow in self pity watch Europa League football.

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