British Comedy Guide

"I can't believe I just said that..."

I went to a funeral yesterday. As we drew up at the crematorium following the church service my sister remarked on how much the vicar looked like a character from Lord of the Rings with is long grey hair and beard. At that very moment we see the vicar and she says, "Talk of the devil, here he is..."

He obviously fancied a career change.

My mother also said the word "Devil" while sitting in Church...she was complaining about the duration of the mass. Completely inappropriate...some people.

(I thought this thread deserved at least one reply)

II once told Satan he resembled a vicar he was driving a stage coach bus

The other day I told one of the children to stop acting like a child. Not a successful telling off strategy,

I can't believe most of the things I've said to girls on a Friday night.

Once when a colleague was causing unintended problems, I referred to him using a rather archaic and politically incorrect term, as "the nigger in the woodpile". It was particularly unfortunate as he was of Afro-Caribbean descent. There were some sharp intakes of breath.

Quote: Tursiops @ March 13 2013, 2:44 PM GMT

Once when a colleague was causing unintended problems, I referred to him using a rather archaic and politically incorrect term, as "the nigger in the woodpile". It was particularly unfortunate as he was of Afro-Caribbean descent. There were some sharp intakes of breath.

Laughing out loud

My old boss used to say that.

A black boss at a company I was working at asked me where the new parts were. I said maybe someone has wogged them.
The silence was palpable.

I was also once inquiring where Bob was. ( he had terrible acne ) and I said where's spotty dog?' He came from behind a door and said 'I presume you mean me'

I said African American at my first kkk meeting

Laughing out loud

Quote: sootyj @ March 13 2013, 3:14 PM GMT

I said African American at my first kkk meeting

I was the one that reprimanded you for that. In case you didn't recognize me with my hood on.

I only joined because as a dyslexic I could spell their name

Quote: sootyj @ March 13 2013, 3:21 PM GMT

I only joined because as a dyslexic I could spell their name

Yes, but weren't you trying to sign up to the Committee on Climate Change?

Booyah

I wasn't particularly well at that funeral - it's wonder someone didn't say to me that looked like 'death warmed up'. As I was at a crematorium it could've been potentially disastrous!

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