British Comedy Guide

A Good Tug Page 5

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 10 2013, 4:56 PM GMT

I've never understood knicker-sniffers. If the smell of stale piss is such a turn on then my local pub's gents toilets should be like some sort of highly erotic Shangri-La.

I have a friend named Gavin, who farts a lot, producing the aroma of rotting fish with pig manure. With his award-wining blend he is solely responsible for clearing the top deck of a bus and reputedly caused a fellow altar boy to faint during Mass. I had the privilege of working in an office with this top-trumping engineer and it was shortly after one such toxic production that our boss entered the office, paused, drew his head back on his neck and said "Phwoar, it smells like hamsters in here", then quickly left. I looked at Gavin, he looked at me and a strange, but attractive thought dawned on us both. Hmmm!
We both kept hamsters at home, I for my granddaughter and Gavin for his youngest son. That night when all the family were asleep, I couldn't fight back the curiosity any longer and I quietly put on my slippers and crept into the utility room. Harry the hamster was active in his cage, going about his nocturnal business and didn't notice me opening the little door on the roof. Quick as a flash, I darted my hand into the cage to get a firm, but gentle grip on the little hottie. I fumbled and only managed to withdraw the lovely creature from his cage by one of his tiny back legs. I swiftly but gently cupped both hands around him and brought his trembling rear-end to my nose and inhaled deeply. Wow, what an amazing sensation it was that filled my whole body. I slowly relaxed back onto the laundry pile, casually dropping the wriggling Harry back into his cage, where he scuttled back into his nest, confused at the sudden twist in our relationship. I couldn't care less as all my problems and anxieties melted away in a haze of hamster-sniffing ecstasy. Wow! I thought as I threw my head back into the peg basket. I couldn't wait to get back to the office to see how Gavin had got on.

Quote: Lee @ March 10 2013, 3:55 PM GMT
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Lee - absolute genius use of a photograph, made me laugh my cock off Laughing out loud I actually read it again in is voice.

Quote: Will Cam @ March 11 2013, 11:38 PM GMT

Lee - absolute genius use of a photograph, made me laugh my cock off Laughing out loud I actually read it again in is voice.

Not what I intended, but I see what you mean. I can't stop thinking in the voice of Ronnie Corbet myself now. I'm also suffering from TITS (Terrible Inuendo Tourettes Syndrome) at the same time. Any suggestions for a cure? :)

Most good comedy has a large dose of truth in it Jonners. If you are asking the audience to be complicit in working out that which you think is furthest from the truth and that which is observational.. then you are asking for for an interaction that kind of kills the comedy moment. Laugher is an emotional release, not a by product of an intellectual judgement.

Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2013, 9:45 AM GMT

Most good comedy has a large dose of truth in it Jonners. If you are asking the audience to be complicit in working out that which you think is furthest from the truth and that which is observational.. then you are asking for for an interaction that kind of kills the comedy moment. Laugher is an emotional release, not a by product of an intellectual judgement.

That's what she said!

She bloody did as well!

Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2013, 10:00 AM GMT

She bloody did as well!

That's what he said!

He was asleep!

How did you know your chauffer was sobre enough to drive, that night you rammed Princess Di's car?

Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2013, 10:13 AM GMT

He was asleep!

Fair enough

Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2013, 9:45 AM GMT

Most good comedy has a large dose of truth in it Jonners. If you are asking the audience to be complicit in working out that which you think is furthest from the truth and that which is observational.. then you are asking for for an interaction that kind of kills the comedy moment. Laugher is an emotional release, not a by product of an intellectual judgement.

Jackpot! Thanks for the tip. Still learning quite a bit on this subject :)

Quote: Jonnners @ March 12 2013, 10:58 AM GMT

Jackpot! Thanks for the tip. Still learning quite a bit on this subject :)

BTW, seeing as I am getting advice from comedy experts, what was the funniest joke ever devised?

Quote: Jonnners @ March 12 2013, 1:00 PM GMT

BTW, seeing as I am getting advice from comedy experts, what was the funniest joke ever devised?

There's no such thing because comedy is subjective. That's a lesson you can take to the bank.

Quote: Jonnners @ March 12 2013, 1:00 PM GMT

BTW, seeing as I am getting advice from comedy experts, what was the funniest joke ever devised?

Quote: David Bussell @ March 12 2013, 1:03 PM GMT

There's no such thing because comedy is subjective. That's a lesson you can take to the bank.

Wow that was so obvious it was actually funny. I was hoping somebody knew the joke that the python team claimed was used as a weapon during the war as it was so funny those who got it died laughing. Never mind. Back to my TITS. :)

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ March 12 2013, 1:07 PM GMT

I'm unsure as to where the target was in the OP. IMO, not rude enough, not irreverent enough and definitely not insulting enough. Didn't even get reported.

If you'd written about the clique in a sort-of handshank horizontal-skiing session in a meet-up lavatory somewhere, that would have been a nice start.. but way too polite for the genre.

Target eh? advice noted. What do you suggest as a target for a TITS suffering amateur? :)

Go to the doctor and tell him you need a shot to control it. And he'll probably give you a large one.

Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2013, 1:32 PM GMT

Go to the doctor and tell him you need a shot to control it. And he'll probably give you a large one.

Thanks but I don't drink. I stopped smoking. Any of you gus know of any interesting new vices I could get into the habit of :)

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