Hi Winterlight.
Thought it was good actually - keep the first ending and build on that. I like the joke that he's taking the old people down with him.
If it were me, I wouldn't have the old people as passive - that seems to be quite a common comedy technique and, if nothing else, it's maybe a bit dull. Why not have someone try and call the police? How would len react? I'm just throwing it out there yeah!?
Yes, I enjoyed it and am musing about the ending. I also quite like Lordie's idea of having say a little old doddery lady trying to call the police on her mobile at some point.
I do like the original ending. Funny and packs a punch.
Just an idea.
Driver: An' over there used to live Bill Johnson. Killed 20 people in one go. Slaughtered the lot. [Sighs] Over night fame. Still holds the record for the most deaths in a single go. Until now that is.
[Sets bomb in cab. Pulls coach into side of road. Gets out and closes door behind him and walks to safe distance.]
[Cut to inside coach]
Agnes: Lovely view Vera
Vera: Yes, lovely.
[Cut to view behind driver with back to camera. Bus explodes. Turns to camera]
Driver: Fame at last.
[Burning body falls on top of him]
Driver: [Weekly out of camera] F**k.
Did anyone see Adam and Joe's piss take dark sketch, making fun of Blue Jam
Your TV isn't working cos there's a dead baby in it you'll have to f**k it.
Yes, I did see that!
Isn't it a DVD extra on the Jam DVD?
Could be I saw it on Adam and Joe I think they may well be along with Harry Hill the supreme TV ironists.
Very good Winterlight.