20 signs you've watched too many British sitcoms Page 3

signs that I watch too many sitcoms are

1. I live in hope of walking through a time portal
2. I always say "oh god" just like Jenny from 2point4 Children
3. You hate anyone having a better knowledge than you of your favourite sitcom and then start to quote more and more random facts just to PROVE that you know your stuff as well as them.
4. Any song you hear in a sitcom you like suddenly becomes your favourite ever (for a week)
5. You dread your neighbours leaving their pets with you in case you kill them, forget where they are or nail them under the floorboards.
6. You can only go out when the episode has finished.
7. The words "You Have Been Watching" follow you everywhere
8. You have daydreams that you are a character in a sitcom.
9. You imagine a top storyline that could see your favourite axed sitcom brought back (shame that the actors are dead though)
10. You are actually sad enough to write a list like this

I have actually pulled out an "emergency larger" from the inside pocket of my overcoat.

A sign I've noticed is that when someone mentions the word 'spoon' I have to say 'Spoons hey?' Just like Basil Fawlty did in The Hotel Inspectors.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ November 6 2009, 10:38 PM GMT

A surveyor tells you that you have rising damp, and you're actually quite proud.

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Haha

Quote: Jack Massey @ November 11 2009, 9:55 PM GMT

3) I doubt it, the Conservatives will be in next year

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You know that they want to make people rich, right?

Whenever you're telling someone about a previous event, things go blurry for a sec, a harp plays & then you re-enact the whole thing for their benefit.

Quote: Aaron @ November 13 2009, 2:21 PM GMT

You know that they want to make people rich, right?

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Rich people maybe, but not the working class. Maybe they have moved on since Thatcher though.

Oooh, very fundamental misunderstanding and shoulder-chipping there Jack! But this isn't the place to go into the ideologies of conservatism.

Another sign: cannot possibly begin to choose or speculate on a list of your own 'favourite' sitcoms.

99. You are proud to announce at any festive occasion, that you can't beat a good old Christmas Log.

99b. When any situation at a sophisticated party goes pear shaped, you aren't afraid to say "I'll get me coat"

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 7 2009, 4:12 AM GMT

You walk into a pub, you go to the bar and ask for "Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please!". There is a sudden embarrassed silence, conversation stops, people look down at the ground, or towards you but avoiding eye contact. The landlord gives you a pitying yet firm stare. You murmur "Sorry" to no-one in particular, before quietly leaving the premises.

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Whenever someone pours me a drink, I often find myself saying "I'll 'ave half."
If they're older than me, there is laughter or at least a look of recognition.
If they're younger it goes over their head.

I have other catchphrases that slip out too - "I don't believe it!!" (Victor Meldrew), "I'm free!" (Mr Humphries) and anything to do with my pussy (Mrs Slocombe).

Quote: Aaron @ November 13 2009, 7:21 PM GMT

You know that they want to make people rich, right?

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When I speak to my British friend I often use inept French phrases just like Del Boy: "It makes me so angry that the FC Basel lost this match, ménage a trois!". I's an insider joke we both enjoy.

I didn't get where I am today by watching too many British sitcoms.

Someone is reminiscing in the pub and you say "Great days Eddie, great days" and they stop and think for a moment before replying "No they weren't"

Someone gets demanding and can't resist asking what they would like their breakfast tray made out of ("rosewood mahogany teak?").

In Sheppards Bush I still wonder where the Skinners Arms is.

When ballsing up a meal I have sudden panic that Sir Dennis is coming round.

When you can't get served quick enough in the sticks you realise you're in a local shop for local people.

Whenever someone mentions the name 'Marlene', you do an awful impression of Boycie, including drawling out both syllables for far too long.