NJ: Not Again

F/XOLICE SIRENS

CHRIS HUHNEh, not again. Switch, switch. Come on, switch seats. Quick!

F/XHUFFLING SOUNDS AS THEY SWITCH SEATS

POLICE OFFICER:Evening (BEAT) Madam. Evening Sir. (PAUSE) Would you mind stepping out the car please Sir.

F/X:CAR DOOR SLAMS SHUT

POLICE OFFICERo you know how fast you were going back there, Sir?

CHRIS HUHNE:Well, only as fast as my wife was driving me, officer.

POLICE OFFICER:Come on mate, I know who you are, let's not go through this again. You're that Chris Huhne bloke, aren't you?
From politics.

CHRIS HUHNE:Well, yeah. That's me.

POLICE OFFICER:Right. And you don't actually have a wife, do you? She left two years ago, didn't she Sir? Under similar circumstances I believe. And what you've got here isn't actually a real woman, is it Sir? What you've got here is a plastic, inflatable, personal pleasure doll. And she doesn't have any thumbs, does she Sir? Or a brain. Or indeed any of the necessary motor skills required to operate a vehicle.

POLICE OFFICERhe is an inanimate object and quite frankly I find it disgusting that you would attempt something like this again. Now I'm going to issue you with this ticket, you'll need to show up at Winchester Crown Court on this date here, at this time.

CHRIS HUHNE:You're joking me? I'll be at Southwark Court until five. Seventy miles in forty minutes?

POLICE OFFICERroblem, Sir?

CHRIS HUHNE:Well (BEAT) no it's doable I suppose.

END