British Comedy Guide

Sitcom

Hi chaps,

The first few pages of my sitcom. Please let me know if you would like to read more or if you think it's toss. JUDY is one of the main characters and this is how the sitcom begins.

raww

INT. A LONG HOSPITAL WARD. DAY.

Nurse JUDY (mid twenties) is hurriedly walking down a hospital corridor. She is very pretty but with a distinct air of innocence. She passes two colleagues who call after her.

NURSE 1
Happy birthday Judy.

NURSE 2
Yeah, happy birthday Judes.

JUDY rushes on.

JUDY
Yep, Thanks!

JUDY passes MR THOMPSON, an old man, who sits up in bed

MR THOMPSON
(Stammering)
H...h...happy b.b...

Although the old man struggles, JUDY stops and waits patiently.

MR THOMPSON
...birthday...

JUDY
(Cheerfully)
Oh well done Mr...

MR THOMPSON (continues)
J...j..j...

JUDY is forced to wait with a sympathetic but pained look on her face. She mouths her name to him as encouragement.

MR THOMPSON (CONTINUES)
J...j...

Suddenly another nurse clamps an oxygen mask over the MR THOMPSON'S face cutting him dead and JUDY takes the opportunity to dash off again.

JUDY
(Calling back to the MR THOMPSON)
Sorry Mr. Thompson! I'll be back later.

JUDY walks briskly to two Doctors who are waiting for her. They stand around a big, red faced man. He has wild white hair and has obviously seen better days. DOCTOR 1 points to the red faced man.

DOCTOR 1
(Impatiently)
And this is?

JUDY
Sorry I'm late Doctor...

DOCTOR 1 (CONTINUES)
(Interrupting)
And this is?

JUDY
(Fumbling with the notes)
Er...sorry doctor...

The DOCTORS continue to wait.

DOCTOR 1
(Dispassionately)
Look never mind, it's not gravely important.

The patient looks unimpressed with the doctor's bedside manner.

DOCTOR 1
(Patronisingly)
How's the patient?

JUDY
(With a sudden enthusiasm)
Oh wait, I see you're a doctor too, Mr...Mr Murphy!

JUDY looks a little more pleased with herself. However, the three men exchange glances.

Mr murphy
(With a strong Irish brogue)
No love, that would be docker.

JUDY is embarrassed.

JUDY
Oh.

DOCTOR 1
Thank you, er... Jilly. It is Jilly, isn't it?

JUDY
(Timidly)
Er, yes Doctor.

A passing nurse gives JUDY a strange look and shakes her head smiling.

DOCTOR 1
Could you pay a little more attention to people's names and occupations? It's not really that hard, is it?

JUDY
No Doctor.

DOCTOR 1
And then you can concentrate on the business of helping them to get better. Okay Jilly?

JUDY
Of course, doctor.

NURSE 3 approaches JUDY with MR THOMPSON in a wheelchair.

Nurse 3
Off you go love, try again.

JUDY senses danger.

JUDY
Ah, we're a bit busy here actually...

MR THOMPSON will not be silenced.

MR THOMPSON
Happy birthday J...j...

With every stammer JUDY winces with the realization she is about to be found out

MR THOMPSON (CONTINUES)
Jonny!

JUDY breathes a sigh of relief. She turns back to DOCTOR 1.

JUDY
Shame when they get like that, isn't it?

NURSE 3 wheels MR THOMPSON away. But then stops and calls back to JUDY.

NURSE 3
(Disdainfully)
By the way Judy. Staffroom, birthday cake, mess! Don't forget to clear it up.

JUDY winces once more.

JUDY
Yep. Sorry.

DOCTOR 1 stares at JUDY.

DOCTOR 1
Nurse, what is your name?

JUDY
(Somewhat crestfallen)
Judy.

DOCTOR 1 just continues to stare at JUDY

DOCTOR 1
Judy what, nurse?

JUDY
Oh sorry. Judy, doctor.

DOCTOR 1
(Coldly)
No, what's your surname girl?

JUDY
Jilly Heart.

MR MURPHY
Judy Heart.

JUDY
Judy Heart! Yep, meant to say Judy Heart.

The two doctors look unimpressed.

I'm mildly intrigued by the apparent issue with Judy/Jilly's name and think a decent actress could make her embarrassment funny. A decent enough opening but we'd need to see some more to get an idea of whether the script is toss or not ;-)

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