Turning the Tables

Not terribly convinced about this but it fought its way out to see the light of day so here it is anyway

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SC1-INT- TELEVISION STUDIO- NIGHT

ARTY MUSIC PLAYED BY A STRING QUARTET. LIGHTS FADE UP ON PRESENTER.

PRESENTER:
Welcome to Arts Now (PAUSE) and on the programme tonight, we look at the hottest ticket in town; the Picasso exhibition at the National Gallery.

To discuss it I'd like to welcome art critic, Byron Stewell. Byron hello.

BYRON: (RIDICULOUS UPPER CLASS ACCENT)
Heyoooh.

PRESENTER:
Excuse me?

BYRON:
Ahiii seaiedddd heyoooh!

PRESENTER
I'm sorry Byron we appear to be having trouble with your mic and your voice is coming out all garbled.

BYRON:
Whoaahhh doe yow meeh? Ahiii aweays tock theece waihhh.

PRESENTER:
Well if that doesn't say it all then I don't know what does. We're trying to make arts more accessible to the man in the street and yet we have to deal with experts like you.

BYRON:
Ahiii bayagh yaw powddn?

PRESENTER:
Oh never mind! I've had enough of this cobblers.

PRESENTER GETS UP HURLS CLIP-BOARD ON HIS CHAIR AND LEAVES BYRON ON THE SET ALL ALONE

[b]ORIGINAL ENDING WIPED OUT WILL REWRITE AND POST AGAIN[b]

Hi Blenk

It must be something in the water today...

Eh?

I got (and liked lots) the posh art critic bit but the whole practical joke/blue spotted rubber figure/A-team quote bits are just lost on me.

Dan

Hi Dan

Yes I thought I'd take the piss out of the art critic and end it there but then decided that it needed something else.

So what better I thought than a swipe at the old Noel Edmonds show (House Party).

Old Tidybeard used to set up media figures in secret filming stunts and then say "Gotcha" after winding them up.

The blue figure is Mr Blobby with a rinse - and the (poor) joke is that old Noel is done up in a reverse gotcha scam with the joke on him.

On reflection and reading it a day later I believe that the second bit of the sketch is indeed shite.

I will re-work it based on the art thing and send Blobby to the outer darkness where he belongs.

Cheers

B

Great idea re the art critic with the inelligible accent - glad you've dropped the Mr Blobby line. How about something like having Byron on the art show at the same time as a graffiti artist whose use of language is at the other extreme, causing the presenter to become even more hacked off while they understand each other completely and leave as great mates...

Quote: Duke Bilko @ February 22, 2007, 8:00 PM

How about something like having Byron on the art show at the same time as a graffiti artist whose use of language is at the other extreme, causing the presenter to become even more hacked off while they understand each other completely and leave as great mates...

View original

Good idea here. You could use the 'he's so common he's come out of the other side!' sort of argument.

You know, like *really* posh people from Surrey almost sound Australian!

So they understand each other but the presenter has no hope on either side.

Dan