The worlds best ever sketch (guaranteed)

A MAN ENTERS A SHOP

MAN:
Hello can I purchase four candles please?

SHOPKEEPER:
Hang on. Do you mean Fork Handles?

MAN:
No four candles. I'm having a memorial for my parrot

SHOPKEEPER:
Your aubergine d potato e tomato a aubergine d parrot! Are you sure he's not just sleeping.

MAN:
Oh no he's definately a dead parrot. He died of that Nudge, Nudge, wink, wink.

SHOPKEEPER:
What did he keep on eating those bloody daffodils?

MAN:
No he caught the bad Aides off a gay cockatiel.

SHOPKEEPER:
Sorry to hear that. When did all this happen?

MAN:
In 1977 my parrot didn't die. In 1978 my parrot didn't die. In 1979 my parrot didn't die. In 1980 my parrot died

SHOPKEEPER:
I will get you your Four Candles right away sir, because I am Working Class.

MAN:
Thank you

SHOPKEEPER:
Is there anything else sir?

MAN:
Yes I have brought my notes with me, but not necessarily in the right order.

END

Loved it, I'm surprised I recognised all the referances being as young as I am.

Not the best sketch mind you, I haven't posted it yet

I already did this, but you did it much better - https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/1200#13387 - I'm sure I had another version around here somewhere.

Anyway, it was good and like I said, better than mine. I liked it, great minds think a like.

I see what you're trying to do here but this only works if it's
an amalgam of ULTRA famous sketches that everyone recognizes, or the whole thing fails. Obviously it starts off with a belter, but then it references Ralph and Ted's Aubergine, Potato sketch which I don't think many people will remember. Also the Brass Eye "bad aids" reference will go over most people's heads.

They are actually all references from C4 50 greatest comedy sketches, so its more a comment on the stupidity of those lists than trying to be funny or clever

Quote: Leevil @ February 5, 2008, 7:35 PM

I already did this, but you did it much better - https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/1200#13387 - I'm sure I had another version around here somewhere.

Anyway, it was good and like I said, better than mine. I liked it, great minds think a like.

View original

oops sorry I didn't realise I was stealing something, just something I thought clicked in my head about an hour ago. I'm plagurising the plagur.... or whatever

Quote: Perry Nium @ February 5, 2008, 7:41 PM

I see what you're trying to do here but this only works if it's
an amalgam of ULTRA famous sketches that everyone recognizes, or the whole thing fails. Obviously it starts off with a belter, but then it references Ralph and Ted's Aubergine, Potato sketch which I don't think many people will remember. Also the Brass Eye "bad aids" reference will go over most people's heads.

View original

Well it worked for us! (sad comedy geeks)
And that's the audience he was targeting after all.

It's a funny idea and the sketch itself is funny.

Ideally, every line should refer to a well-known comedy sketch and every line should work in the context of the preceeding line or, at least of the sketch as a whole.

The line:

SHOPKEEPER:
Sorry to hear that. When did all this happen?

doesn't refer to a sketch, unless I'm missing something.

Also, I can't help thinking the intro would be neater if you trimmed it down to:

MAN:
Four candles.

SHOPKEEPER:
Handles for forks?

MAN:
No four candles. My parrots dead. I'm having a memorial.

Quote: Chimes of Freedom @ February 5, 2008, 8:13 PM

It's a funny idea and the sketch itself is funny.

Ideally, every line should refer to a well-known comedy sketch and every line should work in the context of the preceeding line or, at least of the sketch as a whole.

The line:

SHOPKEEPER:
Sorry to hear that. When did all this happen?

doesn't refer to a sketch, unless I'm missing something.

Also, I can't help thinking the intro would be neater if you trimmed it down to:

MAN:
Four candles.

SHOPKEEPER:
Handles for forks?

MAN:
No four candles. My parrots dead. I'm having a memorial.

View original

Yeah admittedly it could work tighter, but I wrote it in twenty minutes. If I'd thought about it I would have put in a "Margaret, Margaret" reference and a few others two. But as they say... bogoff

Nice idea

Quote: Griff @ February 5, 2008, 8:59 PM

I like this kind of thing. Mitchell & Webb finished off their last radio series with a sketch along these lines, where all the famous catchphrases went wrong, ie someone DID expect the Spanish Inquisition, there were lots of gays in the village, and the shopkeeper had fork handles and four candles readily to hand.

View original

Oh good. At least I've probably only stolen it from people I actually don't mind. I always feel sorry for people when they write a sketch and someone tells them it was already done on goodness gracious me or something equally dreadful.

It doesn't matter if people don't get all the references as long as most of them work. Good stuff. And just to prove that this can be a money spinner I'll post my homage to the Pythons which has been my biggest earner so far.

Quote: zooo @ February 5, 2008, 8:07 PM

Well it worked for us! (sad comedy geeks)
And that's the audience he was targeting after all.

View original

I'm the saddest comedy geek of all, and that's why I think this sketch doesn't quite work. It's satisfying for aficianados to reference less-well-known comedy moments, in the same way that Star Trek geeks like to talk about Dr Spock's Vulcan lineage or whatever, but I think you always have to have a broader audience in mind if you're serious about writing broadcastable material.

Of course if this sketch was only targetted at the comedy-savvy members of this forum then obviously that's furry muff. I mean, I got the joke, you got the joke, but what worries me is your average Joe watching telly at home wouldn't.

but what worries me is your average Joe watching telly at home wouldn't.

I'm a good friend of Average Joe and he told me he thought it was alright. Not too good, not too bad...

Good sketch mate!

This reminded me of something but I'm buggered if I can remember what it is.

I did enjoy it though. Good stuff