Hi all!
This is my first post on these forums and actually the first thing I've ever written. I'd appreciate any feedback on my idea/writing
At Your Expense - A Comedy about MP's
PM : Yes, no, papa I know. I know I have to do it but I never believed they would actually buy it. They actually bought all my promises, who would have known that people would vote for you if you promised them everything. No but daddy the hours are really long and the press are already out to get me, have you seen the front of The Mirror? I never did those drugs that they say I did.. What? Well that was at Christmas it doesn't count!. {Pause} Yes daddy, born to rule I know. I've got to go, important call on the other line, ok bye. (Pause) Hello? Oh yes, of course I remember you Michael of course. How is it on the financial precipice? Did I mean what? Oh what, taxing the bankers? (laughs) of course I bloody didn't. Look me and you were at Oxford together weren't we? You let me copy your economics essays, so it's only fair I give you a tax break? How will we get it through parliament? Leave it to me, leave it to me Michael. Ok take care, make a killing.
The PM is sorting the daily papers on his desk, the telephone is ringing but he is pre-occupied with sorting.
PM : Look at this, The Mirror has a picture of me doing something we're trying to ban, Prime minister says drugs are MDMAmazing. I can see the headlines now. And look at The Sun, "Expenses scandal rolls on'. Oh sweet Mary Jesus bitch. It's on all of them. We were supposed to be the party that would clean up society and politics and its come apart in 48 hours.
Telephone is still ringing. The PM finally answers it
PM: Yes yes, well then, who's this? Oh I Claudette, whose waiting? Michael and Simon, yes send them in immediately.
Door opens
PM: Michael, Simon, what an enormous headache you've given me
Michael: Worse than how you felt on your comedown? *Points to the front page of The Mirror still on the PM's desk*
PM: You let me deal with that. So Michael and Simon. What the hell have you done! Michael you've claimed for every piece of furniture in IKEA. And for a builder to come and put the stuff together!
Michael: Well you know I wasn't built to put flat-back furniture together
PM: Cut the crap Michael we both know there was no builder and you just pocketed the money! Now Simon, what are you? Some kind of mute witness?
Simon: No sir
PM: You claimed for 7 sofa's for your two homes from DFS. I don't care if there's constantly a sale on.
Simon: They are comfortable though
PM: Will they be comfortable with my boot up your arse? Now forgive me for my last outburst. Anyway, it was decided this morning that MP's are no longer allowed to claim for furniture on expenses.
Michael and Simon together: WHAT?
PM: I won't hear anymore about it. No more furniture on expenses. This was a cabinet decision.
