A bit of stand up

I'm a long time fan of stand up, and recently have been considering giving it a go for myself. I've started writing some short ideas on various things as and when they come to me. Just possibly looking to get an outside opinion on one of these, content, style, anything. Any feedback would be much appreciated, so here it is:

I'm not a big film fan, especially far fetched ones. Other people though, are happy to believe a lot of things in films, and get lost in this fantasy world. They'll accept it's possible aliens could come to earth. Or people are born with super powers. Or someone could be remotely interested in Robert Pattinson ...
But as soon as someone gets wet?
"Oh yeah, how come her make up's still perfect then?"
Hold on, that's the part you're questioning? Yeah, an extra terrestrial invasion is plausible, but there's no way Maybelline could make a fully waterproof mascara! Maybe the aliens gave her the ability to always look good.
Or, I dunno, maybe she's born with it.

It took you five sentences to get to the point. Start by editing this down brutally, I'd say.

Thanks for the reply. Perfect suggestion really, so I've gone back over it. In that case, do you feel it would work better along the lines of something like below. Parts still seem a little rambly, but hopefully addresses the waffle at the start.

What is it with films, when someone gets wet, people watching say "how come their make up's still perfect then?" Wait, out of everything, that's the bit you're questioning? You've accepted the alien invasion, and that people can be born with superpowers. Even that someone's remotely interested in Robert Pattinson. But you'll be damned if Maybelline have cracked fully waterproof mascara. Maybe that's her power, the ability to always look good. Y'know, maybe she's born with it.

Hi

"what is it with films?" sounds a bit cliche really. Plus I think robert Pattison is quite well liked, isn't he? Maybe have a pop at somebody else.

You probably need a stronger gag to get started, something to grab people's attention.

Just my opinion. Good luck!

Again, thanks for the input. Much appreciated.

I agree about the start. I rushed the second one really I think. Thinking the choice of actor may be audience dependent, but easily interchangeable. Think I'll go back over this all and spend more time and care on editing it down.