Help, advice and criticism needed

Hi

I'm working on a new character for a range of sketches and would appreciate any feedback, however negative.

I'm also very interested in hearing from anyone on whether the format I've presented them in works, or should I go back to text only?

Anyway, please ignore the fact that the pictures are of Sid James as Sid Abbot (I have a twitter account in this name which I use to test material). Think of it as a generic old man, who is out of touch with modern Britain.

Links to example work:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7PXERRqLQs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6L-kGXqy0I

Thanks to all in anticipation

erm "Sid"
@sidneyabbot

I think the images get in the way.
One can't help but voice them in Sid & Co's voices - thus making it feel very old fashioned.
As to the sketches - they actually feel more like cartoon strips.
But perhaps that's the way you're presenting - gives it a real 'Andy Capp' feel.

The format is horrible, I couldn't bear waiting for the next frame, and so I gave up early on. The music is intrusive and pointless.

It's not funny, at one point the captions are hard to read and its not even a joke.

Not sure what you were trying to do, but it didn't work.

And there realy isn't any mileage at all in just retreading preexisting comedy characters.

that said it was nice to hear a bit of radio head.

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to watch the clips.

I'm basically trying (and failing) to find a way to present work other than script based.

In retrospect I agree that the use of Sid James and Michael Robbins really is a mistake.

Back to the drawing board I guess, but once again thanks for the input, it's much appreciated and of great help as the clips amuse me much more than I know they should.

I think a simple idea is to subvert. Rather than having photos of Sid and Micheal talking to each other.

I dunno use photos of potted plants or dogs or candles.

And for the final scene use a photo of Mordor.

You've got their voices well enough you can subvert them and people will know what you are talking about.

Thanks again.

I'll be honest they've turned into something I really didn't intend. I was going for old but out of place today type humour. As it turns out I rather like the tragic part at the end, and now find I'm ammending stuff to fit in with that.

I think I'll try your suggestion to subvert, or maybe even draw a couple of basic cartoon men.

In the meantime, I'm having a little too much fun making them, guess I've got rather an odd sense of humour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDIQBEWf-xQ

Not sure the format works as video because I also get bored of waiting between frames...

They remind me of the popular range(s) of greetings cards with the black and white photos and silly captions... Maybe something similarly static like a an adult picture book / or click-through slideshow would work better