My Sitcom Script.

Hey guys, this script has not really gone anywhere, I'v had a few companies say It's interesting but that's about it. I'm giving you 10 pages of the script, please let me know what you think. If you want me to email you the full script I can do...

The Benders Episode 1

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

Imma is doing a school project, the project is to film yourself of what you want to be doing when you are 30. Imma has a video camera and is recording himself, he adjusts the camera a little bit, speaking into the camera

IMMA

Hi 30 year old Imma, Im recording this video for my future self as homework set by Mr Catchick, so hopefully when I look back at this video when Im 30 I would have achieved everything I say in this video, ok where do I start, well I have the worlds worst name.

Cuts to:

INT. IMMA'S BIRTH, HOSPITAL,

Imma's mum is holding the not named baby yet, the dad is by her side they are discussing what to call the baby, the midwife enters.

MIDWIFE

Have you decided on a name yet?

MUM

Yes, meet Imma bender.

the midwife looks at the parents puzzled

MIDWIFE

Imma, Imma bender? Has the doctor given you some more drugs or something?

IMMAS MUM

No.

MIDWIFE

Oh, well its erm... a lovely name.

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

IMMA (CONTINUED)

I have endured years of embarrassment and being laughed at.

CUTS TO:

INT. IMMA'S SCHOOLS CLASSROOM

Imma's first day of secondary school the teacher is calling the register.

TEACHER

James Arnold?

SCHOOL PUPIL

Here

TEACHER

Andrew Baines?

SCHOOL PUPIL

Here

TEACHER

Imma bender?

The whole class burst into laughter, Imma slumps in his chair and sighs.

IMMA

Here

Imma's first day of college his teacher Mr Catchick is calling the register

MR CATCHICK

Josh Andrews?

PUPIL

Here

MR CATCHICK

Henry Bettles?

PUPIL

Here sir

Mr Catchick trying really hard not to laugh.

MR CATCHICK

Imma... Imma Bender

The whole class laughs including the teacher.

IMMA

Really guys? Every day! Shut up Joel

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

IMMA (CONTINUED)

So as you can tell I want to change my name. The second thing I want to have achieved or be when I'm 30 is to be married to the girl of my dreams, Olivia East (sighs). The only thing is she has a boyfriend (beat) and he's the biggest twat ever.

CUTS TO:

INT.SHCOOL LOBBY. DAY

JOEL

All right mate, would you like a cup cake?

IMMA

Shut up Joel.

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

As you can see he's a twat. The first time I saw her I knew straight away she was the one.

INT. SCHOOL CAFE, DAY

Immas first encounter with Olivia, Imma is eating lunch on his own, Olivia comes over and sits with him and introducers herself.

OLIVIA

Hey, my names olivia what's yours?

IMMA

Oh hi olivia my names (beat)

Imma sighs and looks away

IMMA (CONTINUED)

Imma bender (beat) It's Ok you can laugh.

OLIVIA

Why would I laugh? I think It's a cute name.

Olivia walks away and smiles at Imma, Imma watches her walk away

IMMA

I love you.

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM, NIGHT.

IMMA (CONTINUED)

The third and final thing I want to do is to be a professional skateboarder Im quite the skateboarder.

CUTS TO:

EXT. SKATE PARK, DAY

A video of Imma skateboarding he barely moves with the skateboard and falls over.

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

IMMA (CONTINUED)

I thinkthat's about it, the next time I see this video I will be 30 years old (beat) wow (waves to the camera) Hi 30 year old me

Imma stops the video and puts it under his bed.

Next day

INT. THE FAMILY HOME/STREET. DAY

Imma walks out of the door to go to college he shouts up and everyone else in the house.

IMMA

Ok guys im going to college now see you later?

He waits for someone to shout back but there's no reply.

IMMA

Oh cya later Imma, have a nice day Imma, love you Imma!

Imma puts his headset in his ears and it plays the song Mo money Mo problems by P Diddy. (this is the opening credits) Imma walks to college through the street, on his way he waves (mimes, due to the music being played aloud) hi to a girl who just ignores him, he takes his headphones out due to someone talking to him (music stops playing aloud)

IMMA

Oh Im sorry?

GUY WASHING HIS CAR

Imma Bender! Such a funny name.

Imma pretends to laugh to be nice, but then stops laughing straight away. He puts his headphones back in and the music plays aloud again. He arrives at his (MORE)(CONT'D)college and meets up with his best friend Stevie. They greet each other by shaking hands (music still playing aloud) They walk into the school doors to go to classes. (music fades away and stops).

INT. SCHOOL LOBBY. DAY

They are walking through the lobby ready to go to classes.

IMMA

I am truly sorry mate and I apologize for wasting your time.

STEVIE

And?

IMMA

And for you scoring 10 goals past me on fifa

STEVIE

I want that written on paper.

The pair meet up with deaf Dave the three are best friends.

DEAF DAVE

All right dick heads, what did you two do (his voice goes really squeaky and high pitched he coughs to normal voice) for that experimental project?

Scene pauses

IMMA V.O

That's my best friend Stevie on the left and that's my other best friend deaf Dave we call him that because he's deaf in one ear. I suppose your wondering why his voice goes weird sometimes well...

CUTS TO:

EXT. GOLF COURSE, DAY

Imma, deaf Dave and Stevie have all hit there shots from the tee, there walking down the fairway and there hear a loud scream in the distance.

GOLFER

FOUR! GET TO THE FLOOR!

Imma and Stevie hear the screams and drop to the floor holding there heads deaf Dave does not hear the screams he looks puzzled at what they are doing.

DEAF DAVE

What the hell are you two

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. SCHOOL LOBBY, DAY MORNING

(paused scene)
IMMA (CONTINUED)

And it hit him straight in the kahooners.

The scene unpauses and they continue to discuss their homework.

IMMA

Yeah I talked about how I wanted to be a pro skater

Stevie and deaf Dave laugh

IMMA (CONTINUED)

That I was going to change my name

Stevie and dead Dave laugh again

IMMA (CONTINUED)

And that I was going to one day Marry Olivia

Stevie and deaf dave laugh at that the most.

IMMA (CONTINUED)

All right then clever dicks, what did you two do?

STEVIE

I talked about how I was going to be a rockstar and sell millions.

Imma mutters

IMMA

You don't play any instruments and can't sing.

STEVIE (CONTINUED)

How I was going to continue to nail loads of girls.

Imma mutters

IMMA

Your still a virgin

STEVIE (CONTINUED)

And I'm going to marry cheryle cole.

IMMA (CONTINUED)

Pretty Sure that's not going to happen.

DEAF DAVE

Well, I talked about how I was going to be prime minister.

STEVIE

What with that voice?

DEAF DAVE

F**k you rockstar

STEVIE

Who's going to listen to you apart from f**king squirrels?

Imma and Stevie both laugh, the three walk down the lobby to there classes.

IMMA

Anyway, did you two guys get invited to Patty Matthews paintball party?

STEVIE(MORE)

(CONT'D) Yeah I did that should be awesome I'm going to go all army style bitches.

DEAF DAVE

(With a not very bothered face) Oh yeah I got that, no biggie I'm might go I might not I don't care probably got plans

CUTS TO:

INT. DEAF DAVE'S HOUSE

Deaf Dave is in his living room sat on a sofa he is going through his post.

DEAF DAVE

Hey, what's this?

He opens the letter and reads it

DEAF DAVE

(shouts) Hey mom! It's finally happened, Iv been invited to a party!

He dances.

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. SCHOOL LOBBY, DAY MORNING

DEAF DAVE (CONTINUED)

Not even bothered.

IMMA

Heres my class, are you two coming round to my house after school?

STEVIE

Yeah we'll be there, and I'll be there to kick your ass on FIFA again.

IMMA

This time your ass is mine, cya guys.

Imma walks into his classroom Stevie and deaf Dave walk away.

INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM, DAY MORNING

Mr Catchick (Immas teacher) is going through the register.

MR CATCHICK

Come on bender hurry up and sit down your late.

Imma sits down

MR CATCHICK

Aaron Bains?

SCHOOL PUPIL

Here

MR CATCHICK

Todd Burns?

SCHOOL PUPIL

Here

MR CATCHICK

Adam Burton?

SCHOOL PUPIL

Here sir

MR CATCHICK

Imma bender?

The whole class burst into laughter including mr Catchick

IMMA

Oh come on guys, everyday? (beat) shut up Joel

MR CATCHICK

Ok guys come on settle down

It fast forwards Imma's day (still showing what he's doing) until the end of the day Imma is waiting for his little brother to finish school.

I Thought it was Brilliant and I had good laughs one thing to do though carry on.

Thanks dude, if only you were a producer.

I am obviously not your target audience.

I found it infantile and the Im a bender joke stretched beyond amusing.

The spelling of Imma made me pronounce it like Rimmer (Red Dwarf) so I didn't even see the joke for long enough.

I'm only 18 myself so I guess it is for the younger audience.

Not great, I mean good for you, you're young but you're a trier. And you're really going for writing jokes.
But you need to study the subject a bit more. I can picture you writing something excellent, but this isn't it.

Hi, I'm 17 myself so could definatly relate to the situacion. I agree with getting ride of the Imma bender joke, it's been done before and no parent unless they had a pathological hatred for there son, would name them that.

Also, I would like to read the whole script; mainly to see how the plot develops and what I am up against

If you're going for jokes in a sitcom by and large you're going in the wrong direction.

Humour should come from jokes created from situation, characters and reactions.

I'll post the next 10 pages on this thread tomorrow if you want?

If you like, but unless you've made radical changes I'd stick to rewriting the first 10.

I'll post the 10 pages anyway, it will introduce more of Imma's family a bit more. After all it is about 'the benders' not just imma.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ December 31 2012, 7:58 PM GMT

I am obviously not your target audience.

I found it infantile and the Im a bender joke stretched beyond amusing.

View original

I'm sorry, but this was my impression as well. It takes a lot of guts to post your scripts around and ask for feedback though, so good on you. It's the first step in a long rewarding process. Read what you can around the subject in books (Marc Blake's How Not To Write A Sitcom gets a recommendation from myself), and give it another go.

At the moment it's a bit one-note, and you haven't packed in many laughs. Even the basic dialogue of the scene should really be funny. They do this especially well in shows like Arrested Development (below) and Seinfeld. They might not be your cup of tea, but understanding how lots of different shows work might help your own restructuring process (if you decide to).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5posU08HjXg

Well...here's the next 10 pages anyway.

(continues from the first 10 pages)

EXT. OUTSIDE SCHOOL. DAY

Andrew walks out of the school with a painful limp and is in pain.

IMMA

What the hell is the matter with you, have you been f**ked up the arse again?

ANDREW

(In a painful sounding voice) I literately got my arse kicked

IMMA

But wasn't you playing in the girls football team today?

ANDREW (CONTINUED)

Yup.

IMMA

Oh...

They walk back to their house.

INT. THE BENDER FAMILY HOUSE HALLWAY. DAY

The pair walk through the door

IMMA

Hello, we're back

They walk through to the living room where Imma's Dad, Mum, Grandad and Grandma are all sitting in.

The Grandad is in midrant

INT. THE BENDER FAMILY HOUSE. LIVING ROOM. DAY

GRANDAD

And another f**king thing how many times are these chuffing twats gonna be (scene pauses mid rant)

IMMA V.O

That's my grandad as you can tell he's pretty crancky, he isn't the nicest of people...

CUTS TO:

INT. ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS.

THE COUNCILLOR

Ok guys, how we run these classes is we each take it in turns to tell the group why they think they have anger issues and how we can stop it. Ok we'll start with you tell us your name.

RANDOM PERSON

Hi my names Chris and after my wife left me I started to drink which caused me to get angry and I hit out at a few people

Grandad mutters and is not amused at what he's hearing

GRANDAD

Oh f**king hell

RANDOM PERSON 2

Well, my names Calvin, after my cat died I begin to get angry at anything

Grandad mutters again

GRANDAD

Jesus f**king Christ

THE COUNCILLOR

Have you got something to say mr Allen?

GRANDAD

Yeah, your all f**king dick heads that need a slap

THE COUNCILLOR

Ah, I see we need to work with you a little bit more...

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. THE BENDER FAMILY HOUSE. LIVING ROOM. DAY

Back to the paused scene

IMMA V.O

Yeah, he's crazy, the women next to him is grandma she's what you call a very merry drinker (beat) yeah the one with the sherry bottle in her hand, that's my dad there, he also can't handle his drink he once got so drunk he had a fight (beat) with a lamp post.

CUTS TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE PUB. NIGHT

DAD

(drunk) What you f**king looking at? What you think you're clever with your big shiney torch on your head come on then!

He wrestles with the lamp post.

CUTS BACK TO:

EXT. THE BENDER FAMILY HOME. LIVING ROOM DAY

(paused scene)

IMMA V.O (CONTINUED)

That's my mum their she puts up with all of this.

The scene unpauses and the grandad continues his rant.

GRANDAD (CONT'D)

So I hit him in the bollocks.

IMMA

Mum, is it all right if Stevie and deaf Dave come round?

MUM

Yes, of course and stop calling him deaf Dave his name is David.

Imma phones deaf dave.

IMMA

Hey deaf Dave, yeah you can come over tell Stevie

Hangs up.

GRANDAD(MORE)

(CONT'D)Oh not those two dick heads.

The home phone rings, grandad picks up the phone.

GRANDAD

(beat) F**k off.

MUM

Argh was that someone trying to sell you something dad?

GRANDAD

No, it was your sister.

MUM

Dad!

Grandad mutters, the doorbell rings, Imma opens the door

Stevie and deaf Dave are at the door.

STEVIE

All right bender.

DEAF DAVE

All right man.

IMMA

All right boys come through, let's go to my room.

They walk upstairs into Imma's bedroom.

STEVIE

Are you ready for your daily ass kicking on FIFA?

IMMA

No, and you'll be the apologizing to me!

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM. DAY

Stevie and Imma sit down on the chairs facing the TV deaf Dave sits on the bed looking at his magazines Stevie and Imma both pick up a console controller.

STEVIE

Enjoy your ass whooping.

IMMA(MORE)

(CONT'D) Yeah yeah

2 minutes later:

STEVIE

(Scores goal) and that's 7 nil and it's not even half time yet.

IMMA

You've had three players sent off, how are you beating me! it's Ok I've got you right where...

1 minute later

IMMA

(shouting) Where's the defence!

STEVIE

And (beat) that's 16 nil

Imma puts his hand on his forehead in disgust.

STEVIE

Well I've given you your daily ass whooping on FIFA, I'm off now cya guys.

Stevie exits the room and leaves the house.

IMMA

I had him!

DEAF DAVE

Imma, you suck that much on FIFA that you even lost to your blind cousin.

CUTS TO:

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM. DAY

Imma and James (Imma's blind cousin) are sitting facing the TV Imma is teaching James how to play

IMMA

Ok this button here is to pass, can you feel that?

JAMES

Yeah I think I got it now.

IMMA

I'll go easy on you to start with (beat) Ok you've scored your first goal, I don't know how but you have (beat) Ok how the hell did that go in?

JAMES

Is that 2 nil?

IMMA

Yeah, but now I'm going to try.

5 minutes later

IMMA

Where's the defence!

JAMES

Is that 8 nil?

IMMA

No Its (beat) erm 2

JAMES

Really? I could have sworn I've scored 8 and you've scored none?

1 minute later

IMMA

No (beat) no (beat) no no (Imma's frantically tapping buttons) how are you skilling me with your goalkeeper!

You hear a cheer from the TV.

Imma's got his hand on his head.

JAMES

And that's 12 nil, Stevie says you owe me written apology.

Imma stares at him.

IMMA

Get out.

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. IMMA'S BEDROOM. DAY

Back to Imma and Deaf Dave.

IMMA

It's a stupid game anyway.

Imma' mum enters the room.

MUM

Hello David, would you like to stay for dinner?

DEAF DAVE

If you don't mind Mrs Bender?

MUM

Of course not, Its ready now.

INT. FAMILY HOME, DINING ROOM NIGHT

Imma and deaf Dave walk down stairs into the dining room and sit at the table.

The mum shouts everyone else in she walks into the living room.

MUM

Guys dinners on the table.

They all get up and rush to the table the Dad gets in the way of grandad.

GRANDAD

Get out the way you lard arse!

Dad, grandad, Grandma and Mum all enter the dining room and take a seat.

MUM

(Shout) Andrew, Tyrone dinners out.

Tyrone and Andrew enter and sit at the table.

TYRONE

Mum how many times have I told you my name is maxwell.

MUM

Tyrone

TYRONE(MORE)

(CONT'D) Mum it's Maxwell! If I want be Britons next top model it's Maxwell, how many models do you know called Tyrone?

GRANDAD

A model? you've got more chances of becoming a model as I have sleeping at night when Im next to this tart. (talking about grandma)

CUTS TO:

INT. IMMA'S FAMILY HOME, BEDROOM, NIGHT

Grandad and Grandma are in bed the grandma is snooring really loud the Grandad sits up with a hammer in his hands.

GRANDAD

One day (beat) one day

CUTS BACK TO:

INT. FAMILY HOME, DINING ROOM NIGHT

IMMA

Well, at least Grandad isn't having murderous thoughts.

Deaf Dave stares at Imma as if to say, what the f**k.

DEAF DAVE

Thank you again for letting me stay for dinner Mrs (beat) bender.

MUM

Please, eat up.

The atmosphere around the table is very awkward and silent, so deaf Dave tries to small talk.

DEAF DAVE

So, Andrew what do you want to do when you grow up?

ANDREW

I want to be a footballer.

Grandad chockes on his food in shock.

GRANDAD

A footballer? Why would you want to do that? Your shit at football.

MUM

Oh dad! Sorry about the language

DEAF DAVE

That's Ok

MUM

Dad, take your pills.

Grandad takes his pills.

GRANDMA

Well, hello there what's your name young man?

DEAF DAVE

Oh hello my names(inturrupted by grandma).

GRANDMA

That's great dear could you pass me the sherry?

DEAF DAVE

Excuse me?

GRANDMA

The sherry next to you

DEAF DAVE

Oh here you go.

He passes the sherry to grandma.

DEAF DAVE

And my names David.

I Can Understand The Concept.
However there is too many people in the script.

The silly name thing can work, it worked for Alan B'Stard in The New Statesman.

It always made me laugh when people were angry with him and say "you bastard!" and he'd chuckle to himself and correct them by saying "B'Stard".