Christmas sketch

So I've been trying to get a sketch thing together for a while and we've finally started getting on with stuff. We've made three sketches in the past few months, and slowly started editing, distributing them etc. This is the first one we've finished; I think it should sit somewhere in the middle, quality-wise.

I'm not completely thrilled with it, but for a first finished bit of work, I think it's decent - lessons to be taken away, learning curve and so forth. Obviously I'm looking for as much feedback as I can get, so tell me what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIyvYSCQmqU

It was pretty good, in my opinion. I thought "I threw a tantrum and kicked the tree over" was a brilliant line.

Nice one, some funny ideas and lines in there.

Your biggest problem is that it's too long.

I've found that the more you write and produce, the more you understand that paring your work down to the barest essentials is critical. Often this can mean losing jokes you like, or even whole scenes. But they have to go for the greater good. There are some nice jokes and ideas in this, but there's always too much flab to either side of them.

To my eye, your sketch can be boiled down to this: man takes Christmas advert too literally and ends up reigniting his father's alcoholism (sorry if that's an inelegant way of putting it!) That's an idea for a sketch. But it's not an idea for a three and a half minute sketch (I'm over simplifying, a fantastic character can drive a simple idea for longer, but then it becomes about them and not the supposed conceit). So much of it can go at the moment. I think you would probably have a much stronger sketch if you cut it down to, say, 1:30. Maybe even shorter.

I don't intend for this to sound like harsh criticism and feel free to disagree, but I think there's something here and I hope it's helpful to read my views.

I'd really like to see the end product if you go back to the cutting room.

Yeah it's certainly too long. We've got another one up that's a bit better edited but even that has some pacing issues. With this one we were just rushing to get it out for Christmas, so it could've done with more time in post production, but there you go. It's all practise etc.