British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,126

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ December 16 2012, 11:10 PM GMT

In other news...

A "plebgate" cop has been nicked for grassing up Andrew Mitchell to the press.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20751703

the whistleblower has his whistle confiscated

Quote: Pingl @ December 16 2012, 10:45 PM GMT

You just fancy her, if Wiggin's had tits instead of sideburns you'd be jumping for joy :P

They'd be better on his chest though.

Quote: Pingl @ December 16 2012, 10:42 PM GMT

They are all winners anyway :)

Aw shucks, you've got me in tears now......... Teary

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20753715

There are very few things that grind my goat(?) more then the greedy energy companies and now the bad people at OfGem (basically, the energy companies) have decreed that they can add an extra £12 to our bills to pay for the new infrastructure.

That's right folks, our tax money built the original infrastructure and now that it needs to be upgraded, we have to pay for it again. Only the Dartford Crossing debacle makes me more angry.*

*When the Dartford Crossing was built, they imposed a toll. They told drivers that the toll would only be in place until the cost of building the bridge was repaid. That figure was reached over a year ago and instead of abolishing the toll, they put the price up.

Well, I've been waiting nearly 50 years to get my share of the benefit from the tax investment in North Sea Oil fields - I'm still f'kin waiting.

In the mid 50s MacMillan said "You've never had it so good", and it all went downhill from there.

All politicians are lying, cheating bastards. FACT.

Transport , fuel, electricity, mail, you name it.......prices go up to line the pockets of the fat bastard directors and shareholders. NOTHING TO DO WITH RISING MATERIALS COSTS, but they think we will accept that. Yes! Let's all lie on our backs with legs in air and pretend life is wonderful as the bosses/politicians rifle through out pockets. Arseholes!

(steps down from podium, with tears in eyes) Teary

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-20758315

Some scumbag actor got a 15 year old drunk and raped her at a party. His pathetic defence was that he suffered from 'sexomnia' - a condition akin to sleep walking except you rape teenagers.

In an AJGO style angry rant - How could this bastardo claim not guilty and put everyone through a horrible public trial? What kind of defence lawyer tries to set a rapist free with the excuse of sexomnia? Why did the CPS even allow this to get to trial?

I can imagine that gets used as an excuse all the time now. Since they let a couple of men get away with using it.

Quote: zooo @ December 17 2012, 4:31 PM GMT

I can imagine that gets used as an excuse all the time now. Since they let a couple of men get away with using it.

They did?! That is beyond bonkers. I could sort of understand it if you were in your own bed with your partner that you've known for years and had sex with them in your sleep, but for complete strangers to suddenly pounce is really stretching belief.

What happens when they fall asleep on a bus?

In other news - The Chief of Police in Newtown Connecticut has asked the media to show restraint and let the families greive in peace. The BBC has just shown an interview made by ABC News with the parents of one of the dead. Way to go news organisations. Exploiting families with a recent tragic bereavement to enterain your viewers is not ghoulish in the least.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 17 2012, 4:37 PM GMT

They did?! That is beyond bonkers. I could sort of understand it if you were in your own bed with your partner that you've known for years and had sex with them in your sleep, but for complete strangers to suddenly pounce is really stretching belief.

What happens when they fall asleep on a bus?

I know, it's insane.

And I'll bet they never 'accidentally' rape a fat old man. Just young women. Funny that...

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 15 2012, 1:39 PM GMT

As someone who's been shooting, I have a much more insightful and knowledgeable opinion on the matter then the vast majority of people on this forum.

Absolute codswallop. Having been shooting doesn't mean dick. I was given my first gun at age seven and spent years shooting, from target practice to murdering animals. The loud noise and the killing and idiot mentality of fellow shooters eventually put me off any further shooting and I gave my guns to the police. This doesn't make me knowledgeable or insightful. Merely smug.

I have been known to sleepshag. I usually wake up half way through though.

You big sleepslag

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 17 2012, 4:29 PM GMT

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-20758315

Some scumbag actor got a 15 year old drunk and raped her at a party. His pathetic defence was that he suffered from 'sexomnia' - a condition akin to sleep walking except you rape teenagers.

In an AJGO style angry rant - How could this bastardo claim not guilty and put everyone through a horrible public trial? What kind of defence lawyer tries to set a rapist free with the excuse of sexomnia? Why did the CPS even allow this to get to trial?

But it is also in the judges remit to punish a criminal more harshly if they feel they haven't shown enough remorse or wasted the courts time etc. So having a far fetched defence can lead to a harsher sentence.

Getting a bit tired of BBC News relentless coverage about American gun laws, they seem to talk about nothing else in regards to the shootings. I know nothing about the shooter, why he commited the atrocity, why he targeted school children, nothing. Instead we get the usual political soap opera stuff between the President and Congress.

One of the biggest criticisms of America is that they're always trying to interfere in the politics, culture and laws of other countries. Thank goodness we in Britain never try to impose our views on other nations - such as demanding who they should have as President, what kind of health service they should operate, their domestic gun laws, etc.

So what? It is just shouting into the wind, the yanks aint listening.

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