Quote: Pingl @ December 16 2012, 6:25 PM GMTOut of pity for her, she really needs to be helped out in her mansion with her millions by two blokes from down the pub
Hey! There were three of us sat in drinking last night. Don't try and portray me as a sad loser with only one friend. 
Quote: Harridan @ December 16 2012, 4:36 PM GMTperverts! *searches for news story to get thread back on track*
Still waiting for the humdinger of a story..........
You can't beat a tasteful bit of female nudity - pervert, moi?
Quote: sootyj @ December 16 2012, 5:33 PM GMTLeave that joke alone it retired in 1998
1978 actually........... 
You can't better the old ones - everyone a Maserati!
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ December 16 2012, 1:20 PM GMTNice try Nat - you big tease, BUT I see Kevin has answered my prayer.
Thhrrrrummp - Tizzzzz! I thank yow, and for my next set of puns.
JESUS!!..........'scuse me...............
That's better - just "been to the loo"
THANK YOU!! Kevin
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 16 2012, 6:22 PM GMTWe did have a long discussion about the ropey mental ginger one in Girls Aloud and came to the conclusion that we would 'do her' out of pity. And the blonde one looks really weird and ugly now, I think she must have gone down the surgery route. The others have all aged really well though. I think the Northern Irish one was voted as best, as long as she didn't talk.
Any chance you could keep the information about wanking over internet pictures of young women and the rating and insulting of strangers' attractiveness to the Who Do You Fancy thread, if not to yourselves? Ta.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 16 2012, 6:11 PM GMTSo Connecticut has some of the strongest gun laws in the US and the shooter stole the weapons he used to kill the children.
...
with massive lies told.
He is reported to have stolen them from his mother's collection, from their home, in Connecticut. No worries about those propaganda statements from the pro-gun lobby though, eh?
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 16 2012, 6:11 PM GMTAnd I'm back -
So Connecticut has some of the strongest gun laws in the US and the shooter stole the weapons he used to kill the children.
One thing is for sure, the anti-gun lobby in America will now be going all out to try and ban certain types of firearms, even if it will have little to no effect on overall gun violence in US society.
Expect an all out war of words between the pro and anti gun supporters, with massive lies told on both sides. Such as wrongly labelling the semi-automatic rifle as an assault weapon and claiming that an AR-15 is unsuitable for hunting.
I don't know, when it comes to blinkered, self righteous and culturally bankrupt, it is very hard to beat totalitarian Britain.
Of course, we've thrown away the very notion of freedom a long time ago and our brainwashed populace is more then happy to ban everything as the answer to all life's problems.
Simple people need simple solutions I guess.
A 1960S style science lab, loads of fit lady scientists in tight white coats and sexy specs wonder about making serious notations on clip board.
A leering handyman in a brown coat mops the floor smoking a rolly.
In the background a giant black and white spinning disk spins (it looks like some sort of time portal)
DR Hooters
Why Professor Jugs? Why did you send him back in time? Why did you send that argumentative cock stand back in time?
PROFESSOR Jugs
I'm sorry we were meant to send that fat lesbian from BBC4 back in time, the one with facial hair.
DR Hooters
Yes so why did you send that argumentative cock stand? The one with the submoronic need to argument about everthing like a parrot with syphilis.
PROFESSOR Jugs
Because I just finished 5 shades of grey and I was distracted by the urge to have a shower and touch my naughty bits.
DR Hooters
Me too! Lets do it together.
DR HOOTER and PROFESSOR JUGS skip off hand in hand.
The handyman follows after them with a handdrill (the kind you'd use for drilling a spy hole in a shower)
DR Hooter
When did we send that argumentative cock stand back too?
PROFESSOR Jugs
Magna Carta the first example of constitutional law in Britain. He can't cause too much trouble can he?
DR Hooter?
I don't care!
HANDYMAN
Snigger snigger snark arf!
SCENE 2
DR Hooter and PROFESSOR Jugs lie dying on the lab floor with multiple gun shot wounds, they both have machine guns. Scientists, milkmen and boy scouts chase each other around the lab shooting at each other.
PROFESSOR Jugs
The argumentative little shit made shooting people a constitutional right.
DR Hooters
And compulsory God Damn you Renegade Carpark!
PROFESSOR Jugs
You argumentative cockstand lost in time!
What the hell is going on with this thread? Jesus.
I was satirising rcps views by contemplating what would happen if he and his views travelled through time
And the rest...
Jugs, Hooters, naughty bits? Can you lot all go off and have a wank and get all of your sexual frustration out of the way?
Quote: Harridan @ December 16 2012, 8:13 PM GMTJugs, Hooters, naughty bits? Can you lot all go off and out of the way?
Harsh but fair.
Has your sense of irony developed rust?
I'm mocking my own pomposity in satirising somebody else's beliefs
Indeed. "It's only a joke" "I'm being ironic" "I'm not being serious" "I'm exaggerating for effect" blah blah blah
Quote: Harridan @ December 16 2012, 8:08 PM GMTWhat the hell is going on with this thread? Jesus.
SORRY! It is my fault. It started off as an innocent enqury re someone's avatar and got out of hand. ('Scuse pun) 
Well harridan dear do tell us a joke
As we poor fellas seem to have forgotten how and can only share our tawdry sexual fantasies
That way you'll be offering us a light to follow back to true wit
Quote: Harridan @ December 16 2012, 8:08 PM GMTWhat the hell is going on with this thread? Jesus.
I believe soots with satirising sixties portrayals of lady scientists in general and Time Tunnel's Lee Meriwether in particular.
I was only responding to a question. Don't blame me ladies!
I endorse any posting by Kevin Murphy.
