My dirty cerebral trumps -
Dave Lee Travis, often dubbed the 'hairy cornflake' - But never without asking their permission first.
Rod Hull wasn't keen on performing with emu when he started his career but he figured 'Hey, a hand in the bird is worth two in the bush'
I have been married to my wife for 40 years, and am entirely in favour of gay marriage. I mean why should the gays have all the fun?
Shortly after Patrick Moore's death a super gigantic massive black hole was created. By grave diggers.
Patrick Moore taught us so much about science. For example did you know, if The Sun was the size of a matchbox then it would still be full of reactionary racism.
Australian police have warned that Apple Maps is accidentally sending people to desolated, dangerous areas, full of criminals. Like Australia.
The problem with apple maps is that it doesn't stick to car windscreens; it isn't compatible with windows.
It was feared that two armed robbers aged 5 and 11 would turn their gun on the police, but they eventually gave up and had to concede - they'd had a Nerf.
Police have told the two child robbers that they could spend the rest of their lives languishing on the bottom of a tiny prison cell. To which the accused replied 'Ha-ha! - Bottom!'
John McAfee did say he would hand himself into the police, if they agreed to his terms and conditions. But no one ever reads those.
Cyril Smith was a devout Christian. In fact he often use look to the stars in the bright sky, from the bed in which he lay, and dream of the time he would be up there, with the little baby Jesus, laying down some sweet head.
Cyril Smith was a devout Christian. In fact I often like to think of him now, up there, with little baby Jesus...
I was shocked to hear that Cyril Smith died only 2 years ago and of natural causes. As in the 80s, when I was a child, many of my friends claimed he had finished himself off.
A new born baby has been given what appears to be the ridiculous name of 'HASHTAG'. It isn't that odd really as her father is a 'Joaquin' and her mother is a 'C, hashtag, exclamation mark, T'
I urge the couple who have decided to go forward in calling their child 'HASHTAG' to reconsider - it's not too late to retweet.
What?! A twitter mad couple have decided to call their daughter HASHTAG? I don't follow..