Quote: chipolata @ December 9 2012, 5:34 PM GMTChip's got a rare part albino blackbird that visits his garden regularly. Hopefully a cat won't get him.
We've got a part albino crow that hops around our yard at work. The warehouse lads have named him Dave. I hate him. I hate all crows.
You can murder crows.
But you shouldn't.
I'd like to peck at a crow. In their eyes. Or maybe their arse.
Quote: chipolata @ December 9 2012, 5:34 PM GMTChip's got a rare part albino blackbird that visits his garden regularly. Hopefully a cat won't get him.
That's a crow with some talcum powder who's been scamming you.
Suddenly a Junk Male appeared...
Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 9 2012, 8:15 PM GMTThat's a crow with some talcum powder who's been scamming you.
Dannyjb is back
and confessing to being ripped off in drug deals by Noel Fielding!
Look what I just got invited to bid on!
Ghost write autobiography
Fixed price: $1,000 - $5,000 | Ghost Writing | Posted: Dec 09, 2012
mistresskimberley, Spain
I am seeking a ghost writer for my autobiography. Think "50 shades" but a real life story with funny / sad / gross / shocking honest stories coupled with a sensational personal and emotional relationship in my private life.
It is a book of sharp contrasts and dilemmas. A book that questions the sub / dom relationship, explores its different facets through real life characters and situations and sometimes turns the roles onto their heads as personalities change or I as a person change along the way.
The book covers stories of my life as a dominatrix and the sessions I had with clients. These will be graphic descriptions of a fetish and sexual nature so not for the prudish. The second part covers my personal life which includes physical abuse / intense sexual submissive relationship with a married man, again not for the faint hearted!
The 2 sides of my life and personalities then need to be brought together to form one readable and cohesive and fascinating book.
So far I have written up the professional side of my life - approx 70,000 words. Whilst I can verbally tell my stories wittily whilst in the company of friends, once my words hit paper they become dull and lifeless, hence the need for a ghost writer.
I have yet to commit all aspects of my personal life to laptop but assume a further 50,000 words approx.
I am looking for someone to take what I have written and turn it into a readable and audience-grabbing work. I see it as being funny, shocking, questioning, arresting, entertaining, eye opening, sexually stimulating.
It assumes "50 shades" has now set a baseline whereby fetish / BDSM is now an acceptable coffee table book discussable in the workplace and my autobiography will now move beyond those limits and stretch the audiences perceptions even further and more graphically.
The suitable candidate will need to review the quality of my writing before we can agree on the actual budget as it clearly depends how much of a re-write is required. Hence the budget I have set is for guideline purpose only in completing this pro forma
I'd bid $5000 and a session, just so you can get a feel of the work!
I feel my style might be too restrained, my prose too (nipple) clipped, I'd try and make a good fist of it, but it's hard work I'd be whipped and flogging my guts out and she'd be trying to put her stamp on my bollocks (writing)
Discussing genitals.
I have a fun week of work ahead of me: one child exposed to chicken pox, the wussy one sliced his thumb open with a carving knife, and the third has an ear infection. Yay!
Quote: dannyjb1 @ December 9 2012, 8:15 PM GMTThat's a crow with some talcum powder who's been scamming you.
Or a magpie.
Quote: Lee @ December 9 2012, 7:30 PM GMTYou can murder crows.
With ravens it would be a kindness.
Quote: billwill @ December 9 2012, 11:12 PM GMTwhOre a magpie.
Worst crime ever