Confessional Sketch NO.2

Another "Confessional Sketch", let me know what you think.

FATHER JAMES AND A MALE ARE TALKING IN A CONFESSIONAL BOX. BOTH MEN ARE IRISH.

Male
Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Father James
Tell me all son and I'll rid you of your sins.

Male
Well, over the past few weeks father, I've been having impure thoughts about being violent, to other people.

Father James
Violent? Why and who to?

Male
Ive been finding it hard to get work, mainly due to the Polish, you see, they can afford to live on cheaper wages and therefore get more work. I thought if I had no opposition, it would be easier to get work.

Father James
Well son I'm disappointed, God clearly states that violence to your fellow brother is wrong.

Male
I know father but I have three kids and they need feeding.

Father James
I understand son but its still wrong (PAUSES) But Bloody Polish, taking our jobs, shagging our women. That Pope John Paul the Second was the friggin worst.

(CAMERA CUTS TO MALE WHO LOOKS AT FATHER JAMES IN SHOCK, FATHER JAMES GETS UP AND WALKS OUT)

I think the line:

"Father James
I understand son but its still wrong (PAUSES) But who can blame you? Them bleeding Polish, taking our jobs, taking our women, you know what I mean? Just call yourself Mr Victor Vidic. You'll have them stingy bastards eating out your hand!"

might be better if we expand it to:

"Father James
I understand son but its still wrong (PAUSES) But who can blame you? Them bleeding Polish, taking our jobs, taking our women, you know what I mean? Just call yourself Mr Victor Vidic. You'll have them stingy bastards eating out your hand! I mean - Jesus f**kin' Christ! - as if we didn't have enough with the blacks, pakis and f**kin' chinks!"

Strangely, if you're going to shock an audience with normally unacceptable material, it's sometimes easier to get away with 'more' than it is with 'less'.

I think many people will read your original version and think its use of racist sentiments makes it both unfunny and unacceptable.

However, although some people will read the amended version and feel I should be kicked off the forum, I think others might be able to imagine it getting a big laugh in a late-night comedy show. And the people laughing would, in many cases, be the people who wouldn't laugh at the original version because it offended their sensibilities.

It's a funny old game, comedy.

I actually would try and compact the punchline more. I'd probably have altered the emphasis of the punchline too. Something along the

"I understand son but its still wrong (PAUSES) But Bloody Polish, taking our jobs, shagging our women. That John Paul the Second. I friggin hated him the worst."

Haha thanks Rob, that line was brilliant, I might nick it if thats ok?

Quote: Paul Carroll @ February 4, 2008, 9:52 AM

Haha thanks Rob, that line was brilliant, I might nick it if thats ok?

View original

Nick away

Actually it should be even tighter imho
"I understand son but its still wrong (PAUSES) But Bloody Polish, taking our jobs, shagging our women. That Pope John Paul the Second was the friggin worst."