British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,145

Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 4 2012, 5:08 PM GMT

He's an actor; saying other peoples lines for money. Playing make believe. Does it matter if he does it mainly for the money?

Quite right. The only things that really matters is that he is a terrible f**king actor.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ December 4 2012, 5:08 PM GMT

He's an actor; saying other peoples lines for money. Playing make believe. Does it matter if he does it mainly for the money?

When it means he won't read my f**king screenplay it does.

But I'm over it now.

And talking of screenplays and Things That Piss Me Off:

Having three jobs on at once, who's order of urgency is exactly opposite to my desire to work on them.

Gary Oldman a terrible actor? Pish and nonsense. He's a great actor who can still pull out great performances. Such as in Tinker, Tailer. Unfortunately he's also in his fifties and there aren't many great roles for actors and actresses beyond a certain age.

(Although in that advert he does come across a bit like a Paul Whitehouse creation).

We're getting close to Christmas Office Party time in London. A magical time when people who hardly ever drink go absolutely bat shit crazy and start doing shots of tequila for no reason.

People collapsed on the street outside of pubs, drunken office girls staggering along the roads, ambulances taking idiots to hospital, loud twats in suits yelling: 'I know, let's have a worst tie contest!' and my absolute favourite, opening the stall door to see Gary from Accounts on his knees in a puddle of urine snorting coke off a toilet seat.

Fights, crying, drunkards on night buses throwing up on themselves, it's like London is transformed into Newcastle for two whole weeks.

My sister is quite pissed off at having to spend a fortune to attend three different Christmas dinner outings for the three different departments she works in - she doesn't like any of them but if she snubs one they'll f**k things up when reference time comes!

Quote: Harridan @ December 5 2012, 3:46 PM GMT

My sister is quite pissed off at having to spend a fortune to attend three different Christmas dinner outings for the three different departments she works in - she doesn't like any of them but if she snubs one they'll f**k things up when reference time comes!

Is your sister the vicar of Dibley??

Ever since you exposed your beliefs I can't help but think that could be a romantic fantasy harridan but a vicar who looks like dawn French

>_< I agree with RCP, my favourite pubs are full of drunken knobs, the garden areas full of vomit, I can't get near the bar for the sweaty foul mouthed oafs rolling around waving their stupid arms!!

Flat is now cold and am in two minds whether to put on the portable fan heater.

Pros -

Make room warm now.

Cons -

Noisy
Burnt dust smell (hasn't been used in a while)
Air dries out and I turn into mummified husk with hard bogeys
Cost of Lecktrick
Rest of flat seems so much colder - so I must live in the front room forever

This decision making is pissing me off.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 6 2012, 4:57 PM GMT

Flat is now cold and am in two minds whether to put on the portable fan heater.

Pros -

Make room warm now.

Cons -

Noisy
Burnt dust smell (hasn't been used in a while)
Air dries out and I turn into mummified husk with hard bogeys
Cost of Lecktrick
Rest of flat seems so much colder - so I must live in the front room forever

This decision making is pissing me off.

Heh, heh, this afternoon I finally got around to filling the radiator that I have included on the newly built stud wall that is now my tiny front hall. And I've turned the rad on & it is working fine, so my front hall which was cold because of all the drafts around the front door, is now warming up nicely and the rad will warm up (and dry off) any coats & raincoats, hung on my new hooks there.

Put a scarf on, like I have!

I have just signed for a package on behalf of a neighbour. In the time spent stood on the doorstep all the heat expensively saved up in my house has escaped into the wild.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 6 2012, 4:57 PM GMT

Flat is now cold and am in two minds whether to put on the portable fan heater.

Pros -

Make room warm now.

Cons -

Noisy
Burnt dust smell (hasn't been used in a while)
Air dries out and I turn into mummified husk with hard bogeys
Cost of Lecktrick
Rest of flat seems so much colder - so I must live in the front room forever

This decision making is pissing me off.

One of the great pleasures in life is hunkering down in front of a fan heater you don't have to pay the electricity for.

Quote: Tursiops @ December 6 2012, 5:17 PM GMT

I have just signed for a package on behalf of a neighbour. In the time spent stood on the doorstep all the heat expensively saved up in my house has escaped into the wild.

I momentarily felt warm, maybe it was that heat going by. I wonder where it's gone now? Cold again :(

Quote: AJGO @ December 6 2012, 5:45 PM GMT

I momentarily felt warm, maybe it was that heat going by. I wonder where it's gone now? Cold again :(

Am now wearing vest and jumper and huge cardigan and koala hat. Still chilly. Is it Spring yet? (After Christmas, of course.)

AJGO has swiftly swapped her cup of tea for a large glass of red wine after a) seeing the prices for trains for a mere couple of hours journey then b) being perplexed by Verified by Visa and their overzealous version of security which is to not have the password you know is right match up to anything they ask for then c) getting annoyed by clicking on the print friendly page which is no clearer than the normal page then d) having to fiddle around with a multitude of wires then e) realising I am so old and grumpy that I had just thought to myself 'I remember before all this technological hooha, it was much less irritating'. (It wasn't. I've always been irritated.)

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