British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,140

Quote: AJGO @ November 29 2012, 1:41 AM GMT

but you've chosen not to bother to look at your previous responses, which is rude, or you've chosen to ignore sound advice from an established member of this highly-regarded comedy forum

I find it weirdly depressing that Bussell has gone from being the BCG's enfant terrible to being one of its elder statesmen.

Quote: chipolata @ November 30 2012, 10:18 AM GMT

I find it weirdly depressing that Bussell has gone from being the BCG's enfant terrible to being one of its elder statesmen.

Believe me, no one finds it more depressing than I do.

Hey Bussell whats the name of your next Edinburgh show?

Quote: David Bussell @ November 30 2012, 11:24 AM GMT

Believe me, no one finds it more depressing than I do.

So is that ironic?

Quote: Ignatius Rake @ November 30 2012, 7:40 AM GMT

Come off it, AJGO, at least he didn't stumble upon it on the internet, realise it was the funniest thing in the multiverse ever and so simply had to join this forum to share it with us.

Otherwise, top rant and completely valid.

Agreed, it's a rant that can be applied to many posters, many committing worse breaches of netiquette than his. It was the final straw. But how fortunate that I happened to stumble across that rant, and just wanted to share LOL-Virus-somethingentirelyillegible

Quote: evan rubivellian @ November 30 2012, 9:45 AM GMT

No, you're lovely and you know it!

If I had to choose a section, I'd go for the "this is a highly-regarded comedy forum" bit! In fact, that's going to be my catchphrase until futher notice.

Geek

Ignatius: I completely agree with you about the word "meme". There's something deeply annoying about it. Tell you what, let's start a rumour that the correct pronunciation of the word is "me-me". That'll put the cat among the intellectual pigeons.

:$

BCG Pigeon English, I like it

Quote: chipolata @ November 30 2012, 10:18 AM GMT

I find it weirdly depressing that Bussell has gone from being the BCG's enfant terrible to being one of its elder statesmen.

Quote: David Bussell @ November 30 2012, 11:24 AM GMT

Believe me, no one finds it more depressing than I do.

Don't worry, it's all comparative

Quote: AJGO @ November 29 2012, 1:41 AM GMT

Over nine hours after your first post you were informed that

but you've chosen not to bother to look at your previous responses, which is rude, or you've chosen to ignore sound advice from an established member of this highly-regarded comedy forum, which is rude.

Life is harsh, this industry is harsher, but if you can't be bothered to even pretend to portray yourself as someone with basic manners who is capable of conducting themself professionally then please have the good grace to not log on in a few years time to whinge about how you haven't made it for some reason or another.
It'll be because no matter how talented you are, and I haven't clicked on your links because despite this being a comedy forum, without knowing anything else about you it's the same as a virus to me, no-one will want to work with you because you don't bother to engage with your peers and fellow comedy afficionados and people who if you portrayed yourself well enough may actually be in a position now or in the future to make a connection with you if your work is decent.

You have at least tried to be ingenuous with your choice of threads, and I'm sorry for taking out on you specifically my frustration regarding various posters, but even if I sound out of order it is genuinely good advice to not seem like a self-absorbed spamming prick.
Anyone else who's thinking of posting without giving anything to the BCG boards; you look like the back pages adverts of a random local paper where some con-artist promises 'earn !!!pounds!!!, no qualifications necessary, full training provided'.
The sad bit is, talented and successful people do frequent this site. You've just made yourself look as much of a twat as I have for posting this rant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiKRGyFb3Hc

Quote: sootyj @ November 30 2012, 1:43 PM GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiKRGyFb3Hc

Indeed. Worrying!

'Writing saved me from the sin and inconvenience of violence'
(Alice Walker)

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ November 30 2012, 4:07 PM GMT

Well, I'd have said: "Send them rubbish tip gleaning in India" and therein lies the difference between you and me, RC: the far right reactionary M16-toting cryptofascist neocon protopromonarchist who wishes that the UK were the USA.. and the far left reactionary AK47-toting neocommy antimonarchical treehugging flora and faunaphile, who wishes that the UK were Cuba..

..and now I've forgotten which one of us is which.

Hey.. how's about a new collective noun?

A muntitude of passions.

:D

JD Wetherspoon's, the English pub rendered as cosy and relaxing as a rush hour commute during a rail strike. Should you be so lucky as to succeed in fighting your way through the heaving mass of near-enough-humanity to the bar and eventually getting served, if you then ask for your beverage of choice by name the snotty camp barman will just stare at you blankly and insist that you give the number assigned the brew on the railway departure board style electric screen above the bar. Then when you sip your beer, no matter which one you ordered, it tastes of whatever weapons grade industrial chemical it was they used to clean the pipes.

It's cheap though.

And another thing, every single beer they had on (I am not going to count Green King as beer) had some stupid novelty Christmas name, like Santa's Toilet Duck or Rudolph's Diabetic Urine or whatever. It's Christmas proles, you will enter into the spirit of the season, by order of the management.

Quote: Rob H @ November 30 2012, 5:46 PM GMT

It's cheap though.

As unfortunately are my friends.

I don't know if it's the same down your end but I drive past a JD Wetherspoon's nearly every morning at around 07:45 and there are always the same piss-heads waiting for it to open at 8:00.

It always crosses my mind - how come I am driving to work to try make ends meet and these idle drunkards can drink everyday and not strike a bat.

Now that does boil my piss

A few people here lately.

I cite the case of a neighbour, a chronic alcoholic and Class A drug abuser, who has been diagnosed as schizophrenic. Over a period of 4 weeks, he receives BACS payments of £1188 pounds in total, equivalent to £297 per week. He goes to the local cheap booze corner store every day at 7 am when it opens and starts his day. Around him has grown a coterie of alcoholic substance abusers who have all played the system at his instruction and been diagnosed as schizophrenic. They openly boast about it. They spend most of their money on booze and drugs and cause untold problems around the area. In short, they get way too much money, much more than they need. All it does is feed their addictions, exacerbate their substance abuse problems and cause negative knock-on effects to the neighbouring populace. Twice or even three times a year sometimes, they can afford to decamp to Sharm-el-Sheik, Ayia Napa or Spain.. and they do.

Food stamps (etc.). End of.

Can we not have separate queues at the post office for people with things to post and people who can't fill in forms on their own? All 5 cashiers dealing with forms for 20 minutes while a queue of parcel-carriers gets more and more irate!

Police horses shitting all over the pavement - can I fine the police officer for failing to clean up after his animal? Is there an actual need for the Met to have horses? Do they actually serve any purpose other than intimidation or are they just for charging at student protesters?

Quote: Harridan @ December 1 2012, 5:18 PM GMT

Can we not have separate queues at the post office for people with things to post and people who can't fill in forms on their own? All 5 cashiers dealing with forms for 20 minutes while a queue of parcel-carriers gets more and more irate!

I like a bit of queuing. It's a chance for some quality me time.

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