My idea here? Even if it is not a comedy? I've been working on it for a couple of years. I like to think that I reached the middle of it. I got stuck a bit there. New ideas come to me only for what I've done until now.
If you will approve it may take a while before writing down a sketch of it (i have a bit of work to do today).
Do as you will, but if it's longer than sketch length try not to be disappointed if you don't get any feedback. If it's not comedy you'll find there are better forums for it anyway, though I have no idea what those forums are.
I DO have an idea what those 'other forums' are: They are for ummm!!!
Quote: ionsimi @ November 30 2012, 10:50 AM GMTEven if it is not a comedy?
That doesn't stop most people!
Ok then. So this is a sketch, like a map of it because there are many things to say.
So, a man is woken up by the noise of the war that is taking place between two neighbors from two blocks of flats close to him. this is the third time in a row that is woken up this way. He starts packing things up and trying to be very quick. during this time he tries to make a plan of what he has to do that day. To meet her at last. After her some months leaving for study. He leaves the flat, reaches her place and fins out that only her grandma is at home. She lives across a market place. you know, with people selling stuff outside. She asks him to buy something. He goes, there he meets the chief of the market, a good friend of grandma, and the chief asks his to buy some stuff for him also. a note to what to buy. And also tells (let's call the character John) John to be the chief for a while until he comes back. John does some things in the market (quite insignificant things) and when the chief comes back tells him that he done them wrong and gets very upset and tells John that that is the reason why he is having so much problems. John finishes the grandma shopping and goes back to her, but the girl is still not there. Grandma knows that he has done wrong things to the market chief and she behaves as a different woman. like everything has changed. In worst. So he goes to find the girl. To her girlfriends, they don't have common friends as he doesn't have any at all. Every person he meets looks friendly at start but after turn upset and no one tells him where she is. No one even knows her. After searches he finishes, tired, on a bench, in a park where he falls asleep. And he dreams her. Then he is woken up by an alarm noise. He is now inside a cell or something. (this is where I went so far)
The main idea is that he lives like us, normally, in a world in which since a moment in time, when some person decides he is under surveillance and every little mistake(even those insignificant) are counted until a number is reached and then he will be put to that cell(from where the story must continue).
There are some things I haven't wrote, as his adventure until now, but that is the map.
Well, what to say...
Ever heard of an old program called The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan.
To make this into a comedy you're going to need at least a talking dog and possibly a transgender Duck-billed Platypus as its foil.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ November 30 2012, 3:26 PM GMTWell, what to say...
Ever heard of an old program called The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan.
No. Looks alike?
Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ November 30 2012, 3:36 PM GMTTo make this into a comedy you're going to need at least a talking dog and possibly a transgender Duck-billed Platypus as its foil.
No cruelty against animals.
I'm no comedic genius, and I think tons of that was lost in translation, but this sounds more like a basic fiction plot than a comedy sketch or routine :/ x
Quote: Dave Ryder @ December 1 2012, 5:13 AM GMTI'm no comedic genius, and I think tons of that was lost in translation, but this sounds more like a basic fiction plot than a comedy sketch or routine :/ x
I said that it's not a comedy. And if I said sketch on the first line, then I've used it as a resume of the story and not as a type of comedy. Imagine that the war between neighbors is a true war. With guns and bombs.