yeah, but the joke didn't work
Things that piss you off Page 1,138
Meh close enough.
But that woman you slept with sooty, she was a HE!
Quote: sootyj @ November 28 2012, 3:44 PM GMTMeh close enough.
Quote: Lee @ November 28 2012, 4:26 PM GMTBut that woman you slept with sooty, she was HE!
I wondered how she floated across the dance floor
Quote: Harridan @ November 28 2012, 3:25 PM GMTNo one's going to make you see them, RC.
You say that, but I am very easily swayed by slick marketing campaigns and herd mentalities. For some reason, I even ended up buying a LotR DVD and I don't even like the blasted things.
I am a-feared as people raved about LotR saying it was the greatest trilogy ever and when I finally watched all three, I realised that I'd wasted 9 hours on an overblown piece of boring golem poop.
Anyways, back to things that piss me right off - when you go into a newsagent to buy a Lotto ticket and people have trouble forming a queue due to their innate f**kwittery. So I let someone go in front of me and they buy a Lucky Dip and I'm standing there going 'If you win the lottery because of my politeness, ability to line up and spacial awareness, then I will kill you with a length of electrical flex you twunty numpty.'
Why don't you just do the lottery on the computer? Then you wouldn't need to mix with the common herd.
Quote: keewik @ November 28 2012, 5:37 PM GMTWhy don't you just do the lottery on the computer? Then you wouldn't need to mix with the common herd.
Because then I'm not spending 'real' money, but virtual cash, which has no value until you get your bloody credit card bill. Then it's all too real.
Plus, there is a sense of anonymity with the ticket that appeals to me.
Handing over a pound at the till is different to applying a £10 minimum to your online account. That shit is a good way to lose a tenner pretty quickly.
Bloody people pushing in while queing at George, really pissed me off. Also some dickwit cashier having a long conversation about his life at the checkout at Morrisons, No shut up and do your job, I don't want to be your friend!
Quote: Pingl @ November 28 2012, 6:41 PM GMTNo shut up and do your job, I don't want to be your friend!
This is typical of the north-south divide. Yes, northerners are friendlier to strangers, but they also don't seem to be in any kind of hurry, as a result, everytime I go 'oop north' I dread having to use a shop and therefore, be forced into a banal conversation with someone I don't know.
It does take every ounce of will not to say 'f**k ya Bounty Bar, I'm outta here!' to a shopkeep.
Luckily in London, the shop staff don't talk to you, they never smile and it's a rare day when they even bother to make eye contact or grunt an acknowledgement of your 'thank you'.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 28 2012, 6:46 PM GMTThis is typical of the north-south divide. Yes, northerners are friendlier to strangers, but they also don't seem to be in any kind of hurry, as a result, everytime I go 'oop north' I dread having to use a shop and therefore, be forced into a banal conversation with someone I don't know.
It does take every ounce of will not to say 'f**k ya Bounty Bar, I'm outta here!' to a shopkeep.
Luckily in London, the shop staff don't talk to you, they never smile and it's a rare day when they even bother to make eye contact or grunt an acknowledgement of your 'thank you'.
Yes I must say when I have lived down south I have enjoyed the sullen silence that is de rigoeur there, especially on the tube and buses. Strange thing is although I hate small talk I become friendly there and insist on talking to anyone who will listen, it seems to scare them.
Sootyj, what did the guy who botched your circumcision say , when accused of castration?
Quote: sootyj @ November 28 2012, 3:41 PM GMTHey I just trimmed it!
A ton of stuff that pisses me off has been compiled into videos on my channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/husandsarkar?feature=results_main
Check it out, hope you like if 
Quote: Satyajit Sarkar @ November 28 2012, 9:00 PM GMTA ton of stuff that pisses me off has been compiled into videos on my channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/husandsarkar?feature=results_main
Check it out, hope you like if
Over nine hours after your first post you were informed that
Quote: David Bussell @ November 28 2012, 11:22 AM GMTYou could make it easier for yourself by putting it in the correct forum, which is Showcase.
but you've chosen not to bother to look at your previous responses, which is rude, or you've chosen to ignore sound advice from an established member of this highly-regarded comedy forum, which is rude.
Life is harsh, this industry is harsher, but if you can't be bothered to even pretend to portray yourself as someone with basic manners who is capable of conducting themself professionally then please have the good grace to not log on in a few years time to whinge about how you haven't made it for some reason or another.
It'll be because no matter how talented you are, and I haven't clicked on your links because despite this being a comedy forum, without knowing anything else about you it's the same as a virus to me, no-one will want to work with you because you don't bother to engage with your peers and fellow comedy afficionados and people who if you portrayed yourself well enough may actually be in a position now or in the future to make a connection with you if your work is decent.
You have at least tried to be ingenuous with your choice of threads, and I'm sorry for taking out on you specifically my frustration regarding various posters, but even if I sound out of order it is genuinely good advice to not seem like a self-absorbed spamming prick.
Anyone else who's thinking of posting without giving anything to the BCG boards; you look like the back pages adverts of a random local paper where some con-artist promises 'earn !!!pounds!!!, no qualifications necessary, full training provided'.
The sad bit is, talented and successful people do frequent this site. You've just made yourself look as much of a twat as I have for posting this rant.
I watched the first 48 seconds, and its shite.
At the very beginning, I thought "that looks like Jake Whitehall", but realised it was an advert for his DVD.