The best honest salesman in the west

Writers note: This is yet another sketch I am pretty much making up as I write now. It is the second one I've done today, the first being 'The Pranker' so I am looking forward to getting some feedback on them. My other sketch 'Obsessive Compulsion disorder' is one Ive had a while so any comments on that would be good too. Thank you

'The best honest salesman in the west' (I start with a title and go from there)

INT: USED CAR SHOW ROOM

A MIDDLE AGED MAN IS LOOKING AT A VINTAGE RED CONVERTABLE WHEN A SMALL OLD SALESMAN SLIDES UP BESIDES HIM

MAN: Looks nice

SALESMAN: Yes, yes it certainly does look good

Man: Can you tell me about the car, hows the engine, the history, brakes all that stuff.

SALESMAN: Of course, yes sure...well. The engine is shot I mean its completely buggered, if it passes the next MOT you will have to give the garage a back hander like I did

Man: Aye?

SALEMAN: And the history... well this car use to be white, you could never tell now but the blood stains, well we just couldn't get the buggers out so I thougt 'you know what. f**k it, everyone likes red'...shame the last person couldn't keep it in his head or off the window...well what was left of it..oh yeah thats a new window we've just put in, not a scratch or a bug ass on that

Man: What?

SALESMAN: The brakes are new...ish...well we repaired them so they're like new but don't test'em...lets just say the new window will stop you going any further forward before the brakes does

Man: So why the hell should I buy the car then?

SALEMAN: Cos the young hussies down the pub will think your a flash git with money and sooner than you can say insurance job it'll be bum love time in the booty of ya car

Man: Sold!

"Is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman...."

Quote: Scott Evans @ February 21, 2007, 4:21 PM

SALEMAN: Cos the young hussies down the pub will think your a flash git with money and will we bouncy you in the cars booty before you can say insurance job

Man: Sold!

View original

What does that mean?

I thought he would've talked him out of buying the car.

Ive changed it slightly. Basically I just made this up as I went so it hasn't be honed yet, just a raw idea

I see a recurring theme in your sketches... bum love.

Lol, yeah... prolly just cos I read back on the OCD sketch but come on everyone loves a bit.......except my missus

Ham it up at the end. The guy wants to buy it cos of something the salesman says and then the salesman tries to talk him out of it, with the old fella being set on it now and nothing can change his mind.

Dan

What I've noticed on this forum is how well people can write together, alot of times good ideas, scenerios or characters can be improved when someone else who is good with witty lines or a ending suggestion gives their two cent. That is why I think the group sketch show project should be really good

I was a bit confused by the end bit - especially the bum bit. What about the OCD sketch. Do you keep going back to it? Are you a bit worried about letting it out (or something like that).

What's this about the Group Sketch thing? All consenting I suppose. Is it legal? Gary Cox and I have put together a radio sketch show. A bit more scope somehow cos all you need is voices, sound fx and imagination. Maybe several of us could put something together. Any outlets in mind?

lol. nah the similarness in endings is just cos I had to go out and having just read O.C.D that I just put on here it must of just been stuck in me head.

Basically the idea was that the car is terrible, worst car u could have ever but because he could pull he said he'd have it.

I literally just made the sketch up as I typed it on here so no time to rethink or hone it, just a raw idea outta my head. If people have better ideas on how it could end or run then I would love to hear it. I'm just trying to think of new stuff

Sorry - I was trying to be funny about being Obsessively Compulsive. Obviously didn't work though.