Another topical one I've written and sent to NewsRevue. Again it's crude. I'm going to try and write as many as I can this week. If you sling enough shit it'll stick. Hopefully.
Int. The Beckham’s front room
David Beckham is sat at a table with his head in his hands. Posh Spice enters and sits down.
Posh: Oh, David. What’s the matter?
David: Oh, Babe, I’m just so upset about not being picked for the England squad.
Posh: Don’t worry, Davey.
David: But I was so close to my 1000th cap. That would have made me the most capped player ever.
Posh: It would have been your 100th cap, David.
David: Oh God, I can’t even count now.
Posh: What d’you mean “now”?
David starts sobbing.
Posh: I’m here for your Davey. That’s why I had to cut short The Spice Girls world tour.
David: But I thought you said it was because everyone was arguing with old ginge minge.
Posh: Well, yes, there was that, but my family is much more important.
David: (SIGHS) I was so looking forward to running up the Wembley tunnel.
Posh: I know, I know.
David: You know what would make me feel better though….
Posh: (SIGHS) Oh go on then. You can run up my fudge tunnel instead.
David: Yay!
ENDS
