British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,058

It's all kicking off in the Middle East again. This times it's the Heebs versus the camel f**kers.

Depending on which news channel you watch, both sides are simultaneously the victims and the aggressors.

'They fired missiles at us so we must retaliate' - said an Israeli / Palestinian spokesperson at exactly the same time to anyone who cared, which was no one.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 18 2012, 2:12 PM GMT

It's all kicking off in the Middle East again. This times it's the Heebs versus the camel f**kers.

Depending on which news channel you watch, both sides are simultaneously the victims and the aggressors.

'They fired missiles at us so we must retaliate' - said an Israeli / Palestinian spokesperson at exactly the same time to anyone who cared, which was no one.

You stole that from Newsround.

RCP is completely right and when that happens I'm off to my panic room because armagedon is here

You'll find me on doomsday prepers

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 18 2012, 2:12 PM GMT

It's all kicking off in the Middle East again. This times it's the Heebs versus the camel f**kers.

No need!

Your certainly no kofi Annan

Then again he proves to be as much use as a chocolate tea pot...

As Spike Milligan said... 'Armageddon outta here!'

Panic room? I'll be off to my picnic room.

If it's gonna possibly kick off to that extent then I hope we find out sharpish so I don't waste any money on f**kin Christmas pressies.....

Quote: lofthouse @ November 18 2012, 2:51 PM GMT

No need!

Your certainly no kofi Annan

It's the British middle class liberals who are the real victims in this conflict. Imagine trying to appear pro-Palestinian without sounding anti-Semetic or pro-Israeli without sounding like a muslim hating, country invading, Fox News pundit.

Do you know how many dinner parties this is going to disrupt? Honestly, these middle eastern types have no regard for the suffering of others.

Quote: Brian Bickerstaffe @ November 18 2012, 2:53 PM GMT

I don't waste any money on f**kin Christmas pressies.....

We know they ain't wasting money on Christmas presents. Foreign devils.

Quote: Nil Putters @ November 18 2012, 2:30 PM GMT

You stole that from Newsround.

:D

Quote: sootyj @ November 18 2012, 2:38 PM GMT

RCP is completely right

:O

Run!

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 18 2012, 3:01 PM GMT

We know they ain't wasting money on Christmas presents. Foreign devils.

Exactly, how thoughtless. Terrible timing. Just like the Cuban missile spat was.

Why couldn't it all kick off in January like the first gulf war did? That way we get crimbo out of the way and January then becomes a tad more interesting than normal. 2012s been a smashing year, what with the golden jubilee. Olympics, Savile...and now this kind of takes the shine off for me.

I always thought the Falklands War, being in early April, bridged that odd period, between early spring and early summer nicely. That year it led us beautifully into the World Cup finals in Spain too.

That was Thatcher for you though I guess.

Logistically, this is shocking.

Is it true Hamas rockets are made by Standard fireworks ?

It's not even a fair fight

It never is, it certainly wasn't when the IRA used Dana or jedward

Here's one for zooo to get all worked up over -

http://news.yahoo.com/killing-wolves-yellowstone-outside-park-triggers-outcry-015419183.html

Basically, Yellowstone Park has packs of wild wolves running around. As long as they stay in the park, they are safe, but if they leave the park and wander into other states, then they can be hunted.

Animal conservationists are up in arms that packs of dangerous, feral, livestock killing predators are being shot by human hunters. They're also worried about how it's effecting the eco-system - as someone who lives in a country where all of the wild bears and wolves were snuffed out hundreds of years ago, the answer is pretty simple, it won't effect the eco-system one bit.

But that's not the point, the point is that there are groups of people who want to re-introduce large populations of child murdering vicious canines back into the population. So yet another section of society that won't make it come the zombie apocalypse.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ November 18 2012, 9:05 PM GMT

Here's one for zooo to get all worked up over -

http://news.yahoo.com/killing-wolves-yellowstone-outside-park-triggers-outcry-015419183.html

Basically, Yellowstone Park has packs of wild wolves running around. As long as they stay in the park, they are safe, but if they leave the park and wander into other states, then they can be hunted.

Animal conservationists are up in arms that packs of dangerous, feral, livestock killing predators are being shot by human hunters. They're also worried about how it's effecting the eco-system - as someone who lives in a country where all of the wild bears and wolves were snuffed out hundreds of years ago, the answer is pretty simple, it won't effect the eco-system one bit.

But that's not the point, the point is that there are groups of people who want to re-introduce large populations of child murdering vicious canines back into the population. So yet another section of society that won't make it come the zombie apocalypse.

I wonder if you've ever had a moderate opinion in your life.

When was the last time a wolf fired a rocket Into a city

You racist

Quote: Harridan @ November 18 2012, 9:08 PM GMT

I wonder if you've ever had a moderate opinion in your life.

I've had loads. I'm just reacting to the irrational motivations of the animal lovers with strongly worded reasoning. Or are only bonkers animal lovers allowed to have strong opinions?

Quote: sootyj @ November 18 2012, 9:09 PM GMT

When was the last time a wolf fired a rocket Into a city

You racist

Did you know that Russian cosmonauts used to carry guns in their capsules? Everyone in the West thought it was in case they met little green men. The real truth is that their capsules would land on Russian woodland when they returned from space. The guns were there in case they were attacked by wolves.

EDIT: Here we are, the Russian TP-82. It has shotgun bores for wolves and a smaller rifled bore for taking down small game. It also had a stock that doubled as a machete.

Image

I'd love to own one of those they look so cool

They're not cats so I don't care. ;)

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