I've thought about writing for years but have always put it off for one reason or another. So here is my first attempt.
‘Paper Maché moons’
By Richard Robinson
TWO FARMERS STANDING IN A FARMYARD TALKING
(TOM is standing next to BILL with some bails of hay nearby like a table)
Tom: What’s thou up to Bill?
(Bill is carefully paper Machéing a balloon (the pear shaped kind) on the bails of hay and ignoring Tom)
(In a louder voice)
Tom: Bill what is thou doing?
(Bill looks up at Tom for the first time)
Bill: Now Tom I’m…..er…….erm………..making a ‘moon’.
Tom: What’s thou doing that for?
(Bill looks around at the crowd his arms outstretched looking like it is obvious. Whilst he says the next line)
Bill: In’t it obvious
(Tom looks around at the crowd also)
Tom: Well humour me a little here Bill. Why yer making a moon? You’re a single farmer, you’ve no kids to entertain, shouldn’t you be out in ya fields farming or somet?
Bill: I’m working on that right now Tom.
(Tom looks exasperated)
Tom: Call me stupid but that (points at the moon) don’t look like farming to me.
Bill: Its part of me long term plan to make money.
Tom: What selling paper mache moons. I don’t think people will buy em. Its not even round its pear shaped
Bill: Well if I turn it around
(He turns the balloon around to show the bottom to Tom)
Bill: It looks round now
Tom: Well that’s me sold, can I buy one?........ Come on Bill seriously whose gonna buy em?
Bill: They’re not for selling Tom.
Tom: What? Then whys thou wasting time making em?
Bill: Its biodynamic farming in’t it.
Tom: Biodynamic farming? You’ve lost me there.
Bill: Biodynamic farming is all to do with the moon and how it affects crop growth
Tom: I’m still not on ya wave length.
Bill: Well I thought that if using biodynamics with one moon can increase crop production. I’m gonna make hundreds of moons and hang em all over me fields. Hopefully I’ll be a millionaire by the end ov year.
Tom: That’s…………..that’s………..stupid. Their not real moons. Your crop production won’t increase with these.
Bill: That’s where my secret plan comes into operation
(Tom gulps)
Tom: And what’s that then?
Bill: I’m not gonna tell em.
Tom: Let me get this straight. You’re making hundreds of paper maché balloons to hang over all ya fields to increase crop production using biodynamics and it’ll work because ya won’t tell your crops that they’re fake. And by the end ov year you’ll be a millionaire?
Bill: Yeh
Tom: Well count me in
(Tom starts to paper maché the balloon that Bill is holding)
And thankyou for reading 
