Dear friendly comedy followers, I am in need of some good advice, and I need it fast. Basically this sketch I have here is somewhat jumbled, it seems to be two areas stuck together as it started out as a character piece then turned in to a piece that was heavily inspired by 1970's humour and the mocking there of, Is there any way to improve it?
*Update, I believe that the first part was adding to the confusion, so twas removed.) Hope fully this is a little less confusing, I'm not sure what all the spelling errors where but I have removed the ones that I saw, if anyone see's anything else, please it out.
Henry: Oh mother's worried,
Primrose: Oh has she been asking when you'll get married.
Hen: No, she wasn't, the milkman hasn't been round.
Prim: Is she having an affair with him?
Hen: Who said it was her? (pulls face.)CUT (It is revealed that both Henry and Primrose are in a sketch based recording studio, he is speaking to the director Tom.). That's a bit bleeding blatant isn't it? I mean if we're supposed to be doing a 1970's skit, surely we shouldn't be too obvious.
Tom: Well due to a modern statistics people want 1970's skits with a 21st century twist! Go with the flow.
Hen: How are you and Peter?
Prim: Oh fine, we've been at it like Rabbits. Last week he asked if it was possible if I could check his car bonnet.
Hen: Why'd he ask that, we all know that girls can't fix cars.
Primrose: Perhaps he just wanted a f**k.
Hen: Oh really this is the most, who wrote this? Ben Elton?
Tom: No actually it was Richard Curtis.
Hen: Oh right, I wondered what this fairy was doing here.
(a camera reveals Hugh Grant) God how awfully embarrassing! Just ignore me, I must be in the wrong scene!
Tom: Piss off Hugh.
Hugh: Sorry chaps, how awfully awkward I feel.
Tom: Can people please carry on!
Reginald: Why hello Henry you homosexual that I admire for being true to yourself in a totally not 1970's stereotyped way.
Hen: Hello Reg,
Reg: Say look at that piece of young scrumpy, she looks like she have legs up to Neptune.
Hen: I would be careful sir.
Reg: Nonsense. Hello darling fancy quick one.
Random woman: Piss off Granddad. (she kicks him in the crotch area. And sprays mace in his eyes.)
Hen: you alright Reg?
Reg: Fine. (The remains of a tear seems to drop down.)
(10 minutes later.)
Reg: Well what a fine specimen over there. With such a majestic arse.
Woof. Hello sweet cake, let's say we go somewhere more private, eh?
(person turns round, the new lady seems to be a rather obvious transvestite.)
Random woman two: Alright darling, we're you want to go cheeky?
(long pause.)
Reg: How about my place.
Random woman two: okay.
Hen: Wait a minute, this isn't right,
Tom: what's wrong we're trying to add some gritty inbetweeners styled realism in here.
Hen: This is more like a Zach Galifianakis film, he gets kicked by the woman and shagged by the trannie.
Random woman two: You against the transgendered?
Hen: No it's just political correctness gone wrong. What's wrong with you guys. You're accepting everything that happens. You don't use any derogatory terms, you make no sexist jokes. There's no perverts or idiots. Your all so bloody nice. Even curse words are accepted. What's wrong with you guys. Grow up.
(after the rant, he walks away unsteadily. Unknowingly knocking down small object. He whispers under his breath)
Hen: Oh knickers.
Tom: you're disgusting.
Hen: What, all I said was knickers.
Tom: Be quiet little kiddies are watch this. You're f**king disgusting.
(the screen goes blank, we switch to a monty pythonesque couple; they are wearing animal noses and one of them is holding a pineapple wearing a nappy).
Man: Filth.
(the wife has a moustache and is smoking a pipe.)
Wife: hum.
