British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 413

I hate Chelsea, but f**k me if that isn't match fixing I don't know what is.

What a poor weekend for match officials with Arsenal, Liverpool and now this.

C**ttenburgs got form as long as your arm

F**king c**t

Wanker

Even Chapman's a better referee than him.

Cheating f**king bastards. I hate that C**t Little Pea!

Where does C**tenburg come from? Honestly. He had no balls today!!!

"Clattenburg has also encountered contempt when officiating two fixtures between Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United. In 2005 when Tottenham's Pedro Mendes had a long-range shot fumbled over the line by United goalkeeper Roy Carroll, neither Clattenburg or his assistants were in a position to award the goal. Five years later, in October 2010, he allowed to stand a United goal scored under controversial circumstances (although strictly correct under game laws) when Nani tapped the ball into the net while Spurs keeper Heurelho Gomes believed his team had a free-kick."

Yep, I can now say with complete certainty that the Premiership is corrupt, and makes Italy look good.

I emailed the FA, PL and Independent Football Ombudsman through their websites to complain about it and suggest everyone else do the same.

Quote: lofthouse @ October 28 2012, 5:52 PM GMT

C**ttenburgs got form as long as your arm

F**king c**t

Wanker

So do half the ref's in the league, if not all of them. Howard Webb springs immediately to mind. With City winning the PL and Chelsea running away with it United were obviously forced to step up their cheating to the point where it could hardly be more obvious.

I'm surprised they didn't get any dodgy pens for good measure, United will want a partial refund for that.

Any bets for how many dodgy pens and soft reds for their opponent they'll get in their next game? At least one of each I reckon.

Oh their all poor

But he is worse than poor

He is a total disgrace

And I'm not a Utd or chelsea fan so I'm not arsed about today

I just get annoyed that this imbecile gets away with it season after season

Loathe the arsewipe

http://ww1.sinaimg.cn/large/64ac8c2bjw1dybga6fvlcj.jpg

Can't embed the image unfortunately...

Hopefully Chelsea fans will send him death threats and he'll retire, they've got form.

Quote: Anon @ October 28 2012, 6:36 PM GMT

I emailed the FA, PL and Independent Football Ombudsman through their websites to complain about it

You sure know how to light the blue touchpaper, mate.

Quote: don rushmore @ October 28 2012, 8:55 PM GMT

You sure know how to light the blue touchpaper, mate.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Quote: don rushmore @ October 28 2012, 8:55 PM GMT

You sure know how to light the blue touchpaper, mate.

Rushmore gold. Laughing out loud

Quote: Anon @ October 28 2012, 7:10 PM GMT

http://ww1.sinaimg.cn/large/64ac8c2bjw1dybga6fvlcj.jpg

Can't embed the image unfortunately...

Hopefully Chelsea fans will send him death threats and he'll retire, they've got form.

Here you go.

Image

Some Facts about Emile Heskey that you may not know about...and these facts prove he is better than Lionel Messi

1. Heskey has never missed a penalty, Messi has
2. Heskey has 61 caps for England, Messi has 0.
3. Heskey has scored 7 goals for England, Messi has 0.
4. Heskey has scored 100+ goals in the Premier League, Messi has never scored in it.
5. Heskey undoubtedly has a larger d**k than Messi.
6. Heskey's feet are size 15, Messi's are a tiny size 10.
7. Emile's shots go out for throw-ins, Messi's don't.
8. Heskey's Mrs is sexier than Messi's Mrs.
9. Heskey misses a lot because he doesn't want to upset the goalkeepers feelings, Messi just scores all the time because he's a git.
10. Heskey has played in more World Cups than Messi.
11. Emile has played for more clubs than Messi, meaning he is more versatile.
12. Heskey has been bought for bigger transfers fee than Messi ever has.
13. Heskey quite clearly has a better haircut than Messi.
14. Messi played sh*t in the Champions League Semi Final against Chelsea, Heskey didn't.
15. Heskey has never had a bad game in La Liga, Messi has.
16. Heskey weighs much more than Messi, making him the better man.
17. Heskey can play without Xavi and Iniesta.
18. Heskey changes clubs regularly, as he wants to give everyone a chance with his brilliance, Messi just stays at Barcelona.
19. Heskey has better strength, heading accuracy and aggression on FIFA 12 (the only attributes that matter).
20. Heskey has played more times in the Euro's than Messi.
21. Messi has never made a girl orgasm, Heskey does by simply staring into a womens eyes.
22. Heskey's middle name is 'William Ivanhoe', which is far better and cooler than Messi's middle name 'Andrés'.
23. Heskey has had poor managers such as Alex Mcleish and Steve Bruce, whereas Messi has had Pe Guardiola
24. Heskey can play at Centre Back, Messi can't.

Still reeling from the Chelsea game.
Deserved to be 2-0 down (despite lucky bounce for United) but were making typically spirited comeback when the referee stepped in.
With luck, Chelsea will bounce back and that wanker will be out of a job forever.
Only highlight was Ferguson nearly falling over.

Unearthed this nugget on Clattenburg:

"Sacked by the PGMO, the referees' governing body, and told he would never officiate again after breaching his contract. Accused of sending threatening emails to business associates and alleged to have debts of £175,000."

That clinches it for me. Well paid people with debts usually = gambling and gambling = match fixing. United haven't won at the bridge for ten years, No-one called it for them.

Fergie took Rooney off because he had a yellow which shows he thought Clattenburg was off his nut. To send off Torres even if you think he had made a meal of a foul when he was waiting to be subbed and Chelsea are already down to ten at 69mins when the game was precisely balanced is not just a bad decision, it's obviously corrupt.

Quote: Nil Putters @ October 29 2012, 10:29 AM GMT

Laughing out loud Awwwwww.
Where did you find that?

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