British Comedy Guide

Newsjack - Series 7 Page 37

all my stuff is now in critique - please comment

Got a rejection email! In a bizarre way this is good - as it's the closest I've ever got! Thing now is I have no idea which one was used but was cut!

Anyone who was there...could you look at the following and see if one rings a bell please? Apols for the formatting, it's not pasting right:

JUSTIN

Anti-culling group, Team Badger are celebrating this week after

the government scrapped the proposed badger cull. They said

they were going to celebrate by having some... MASHED POTATO!

JUSTIN

Slyvia Kristel, the star of the soft-core sex films, Emmanuelle,

sadly passed away this week. As Channel 5 show all seven

films back to back, the nation's teenagers have vowed to pitch

thousands of tents in her honour.

CORRECTIONS

In our earlier piece on David Cameron's 'tough, rehabilitation

revolution' he was actually referring to members of the public

who break the law, and not government ministers, who can

expect a mild telling off and a brief spell on the backbenches.

JACK APP

So the police are going to 'learn the lessons' after tasering an

old blind man with a walking stick they mistook for a samurai

sword? Presumably the lesson is - don't shoot 50,000 volts of

electricity into a slow moving old blind man carrying a walking

stick.

JUSTIN

The government is to force businesses to reveal their male to

female staff ratio in an attempt to weed out sexism in the

workplace. On the back of this Stringfellows has revealed it has

a 1 to 100 male:female ratio and all staff members wear a non-

gender specific uniform, namely a perm, fake tan and a g-string.

if you email them they'll tell you what was used

Quote: Alex64 @ October 25 2012, 6:01 PM BST

JACK APP

So the police are going to 'learn the lessons' after tasering an

old blind man with a walking stick they mistook for a samurai

sword? Presumably the lesson is - don't shoot 50,000 volts of

electricity into a slow moving old blind man carrying a walking

stick.

It was this one.

Alison - What DbM said, don't recognise any of those one-liners so must have been from a sketch. I didn't recognise your sketches but perhaps it was a reference in the Lance Armstrong one?

Quote: Badge @ October 25 2012, 5:50 PM BST

I got the recorded/cut email.

Looking on the positives that's something recorded in EVERY SINGLE SHOW this series.

Oh I didn't know that - thanks for the heads up.

Ah thanks!

Recorded/cut for me too, boooo!

Congrats to everyone who got something on tonight, it's been a good series so you can be justifiably proud.

Of course the big question is, who will be the face of the episode 6 credits? There was one other female actor (Cariad Lloyd) in the first two episodes but she didn't do episode 6. Oh the drama.

My god, this is spooky - recorded and cut too!

Did they cut the whole show?

That's it then - absolutely nothing for me this series.

After three recorded but cut emails last series (and a credit the series before) I feel like I'm going backwards. Alas I'll try to practice my sketch writing over Christmas and try again during series 8.

Congrats all that got on (or were cut).

This is how my Newsjack record currently stands:

Series 5: Nothing
Series 6: 1 credit
Series 7: Nothing

I'm going to go back to writing for Newsrevue in order to try and sharpen my skills and rebuild my confidence.

Quote: groovydude89 @ October 25 2012, 6:24 PM BST

This is how my Newsjack record currently stands:

Series 5: Nothing
Series 6: 1 credit
Series 7: Nothing

I'm going to go back to writing for Newsrevue in order to try and sharpen my skills and rebuild my confidence.

How does Newsrevue work? Is there a set deadline? Do they email you if you've got performed?

I was recorded and cut this week as well, so the cutting room floor is the place to be in week 6. I feel sorry for all those losers who got in the show :D

Quote: amarsandhu @ October 25 2012, 6:36 PM BST

How does Newsrevue work? Is there a set deadline? Do they email you if you've got performed?

Best to send in stuff on Sunday night or monday morning. You don't get told if you have stuff on you find out when they send out the running orders

Having had everything rejected in all seven home-based series, I now send stuff to NJ's French franchise ReportageJaques. For example...

Noc! Noc!
Qui est la?
L'osta.
L'osta qui?
Exactement!

Quote: blahblah @ October 25 2012, 7:46 PM BST

Best to send in stuff on Sunday night or monday morning. You don't get told if you have stuff on you find out when they send out the running orders

Ok thanks I'll give it a go

Share this page