My critical (and I am being super extra harsh for helpfulness) breakdown - but first which one was insulted and what was the insult?
50 shades of Grey to win the Book Oooooer prize
Cheesy
George Osbourne and David Cameron's Cat clash over small bowl of scraps.
That was left out for Nick Clegg
Weak punchline, not really big enough punch
Alexander Salmond described today how he wanted to debate David Cameron with powerful rhetorical punches.
Before asking what the word rhetorical meant.
Nice joke but should be rewritten to be funnier
Met has banned police officers from having visable tattoos
After a police officer was implicated of brutality by the tattoos on his knuckles
This is an idea of a joke not an actual joke
The England football teams match with Poland was rained off.
Nice change for them to be able to blame another bunch of drips for failure.
Groaner
Police tazered a blind man this week after mistaking his white stick for a samurai sword.
And have apologized to the 200 women in Burqas they CS gassed after mistaking them for ninjas.
Brilliant 
The Aberdeen bypass has been agreed.
After none of the opponents could find a reason anyone wouldn't want to bypass Aberdeen and actually go there.
idea of a joke, not an actual joke
George Osbournes and David Camerons cat's spat this week was blamed on them not being neutered.
Cameron explained he wanted to get them and Nick Clegg done at the same time, but no one could find Nick's balls.
Nice idea but could see it coming a mile off
Ming Campbell has said a federal Scotland can be a strong part of the UK, like the liberals within the ruling coalition.
He was praised by David Cameron, for saying this with a straight face.
Weak punchline
When Jen told Ben she might need to go to the bar for some Dutch courage. He burst into tears and said "I don't want to be bummed by a Dutch sailor."
It's funny for the word bum, not much else
When Jen told Ben if he was a good boy he could watch her play with herself. He huffed his mum warned him about girls like her. That only had one controller for their Xbox.
Not really funny
I was on a flight to Malaga with the missus and I told her if the plane crashed only the black box would survive. Wow she said blonde hair dye must really weaken the roots.
Not really funny
I told my wife my bald spot was the solar panel for a sex machine. She said perhaps we should stop having sex at night.
Brilliant!
When I heard my wife was going to be the maid of honor. I suggested to Ben that he should check the ingredients more thoroughly next time.
Do not get
Ben's dipped his willy in powdered aspirin. That way if Jen has a headache she can choose between oral and suppository
Dirty joke but not funny
I hope that helps at all 
