British Comedy Guide

Another coffee shop sketch

I started writing this but knew it was no good for newsjack. As a sketch on it's own, is it any good? Even a little bit amusing?

BARRISTA:Here you go madam, that's one cappuccino, two Americano's and a biscotti. Next please.

MAN:Hello. Can you tell me where I'd find Bertrand Russell?

BARRISTA:I'm sorry?

MAN:Bertrand Russell.

BARRISTA:Er, I'm not sure, sir. Is he a regular here?

MAN:I shouldn't think so; he's been dead forty odd years.

BARRISTA:Well, perhaps you could try the graveyard. I'm really sorry sir, but we are awfully busy at the moment, so unless I can get you anything...

MAN:A book!

BARRISTA:Sorry?

MAN:A book, I want a book on Bertrand Russell.

BARRISTA:Oh I see. Uh, well I can't really help you with that either.
Would you like any coffee?

MAN:Coffee? Coffee!?

BARRISTA:Yes, it's kind of our specialty really, sir. Cappuccino, latte, filter. You name it, we've got it. I can help you with that.

MAN:I don't want a coffee, it's nasty stuff. Never drink brown water that's had a plunger in it, that's what my Mum always used to say. I want a book on Bertrand Russell.

BARRISTA:Well, you've come to the wrong place really, sir.

MAN:This is a public library, isn't it?

BARRISTA:Yes. Yes it is.

MAN:That's what I thought. What's all this about coffee?

BARRISTA:Been a while since you've used a library, has it sir?

MAN:About a month.

BARRISTA:Thought so. We don't really do books now.

MAN:Don't really do books?

BARRISTA:Would you like a biscotti?

MAN:No I would not.

BARRISTA:A poppyseed muffin?

MAN:Look I...I have to say, that does sound tempting. Is it fair trade?

BARRISTA:Not for you it's not, sir, it's a bloody rip off.

I like that, it made me smile, and I always enjoy a good old fashioned punchline.

Thank you. I can look at something I've written and see if it is 'strong' or 'weak', in terms of writing. But I'm astonished at how hard it is to spot whether or not something is amusing.

I, like you, find this makes me smile, I had fun writing it, but I don't think it's particulalry stong.

Thanks for the comments.

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