Waiting (Video)

Hello!

It's been a long time since I've visited these boards, but I've been hard at work plying my trade as a writer/director/cameraman, and I thought you all might appreciate this short that we made yesterday.

https://vimeo.com/51509079

Hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think

Cheers

Chris

I didn't find the punch worthy enough to justify the protracted set-up. You could trim it to at least half the length and still be able to build up the necessary anticipation.

I don't know. The setup portrays emotional loneliness. The punchline suggest sexual loneliness.

Good filming and acting.

Quote: Funny Johnny @ October 16 2012, 8:28 PM BST

I don't know. The setup portrays emotional loneliness. The punchline suggest sexual loneliness.

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There's a difference?

Quote: David Bussell @ October 16 2012, 8:29 PM BST

There's a difference?

View original

Nothing a little masturbation won't fix. It have remarkeble healing powers in many areas.

Thanks for watching it guys. Really appreciate the feedback.

I toiled over the length for a while, but I personally think the balance is right at the minute between pacing/building atmosphere and not taking too long to get to the point. When I made it shorter (I made a version which had a running time of about 1:30), it felt kind of rushed.

I think part of the problem could be that we're on a comedy board, so you're in the mindset of waiting for the punchline, whereas the point of the film is that it isn't billed as a comedy and the comedy ending is unexpected. Kind of gives the game away before it starts :/

Alas, I hope it can be appreciated for what it is.

Cheers!

Could be you're right, could be you're too close to it to see it for what it is. As an outsider I'm seeing a bunch of shots there that aren't at all necessary: the pouring of the tea, the kissing of the photo (has anyone ever done that in real life?), the circling of the calendar (again, very heavy-handed). And that's just the shots you can afford to lose - others can certainly be reduced in length without losing any nuance.

I tend to find that with enough distance from the editing process everything ends up looking kind of flabby. I still reckon there's a 1:30 edit of this that will serve you much better.

Yeah you could be right. I'll give it a few days and then come back to it with fresh eyes and see what I can do.

Thanks!