Inspired by Ben

A MAN AND WOMAN BURST INTO A KITCHEN, THEY ARE DRESSED IN CLUBBING GEAR. THEY ARE WRAPPED IN A PASSIONATE EMBRACE.

THE WOMAN PUSHES THE MAN AWAY HE STAGGERS BACKWARDS

MAN
Wow, you are so hot. I can't believe you want me to...

THE WOMAN PUTS HER FINGER TO HER MOUTH TO SHUSH HIM

THEN REACHES INTO A DRAWER AND PULLS OUT WHAT MAYBE A BIG SEX AID, THE MAN'S EYES BOGGLE

SHE HANDS IT TO HIM HE TAKES IT

AND DOUBLE TAKES IT'S A SCREW DRIVER (SHE WAS HIDING THE SCREW BIT IN HER HAND)

MAN
Give you a long hard screw against the wall.

WOMAN POINTS AT A SPACE ON THE WALL AND SOME UNASSEMBLED CUPBOARDS BENEATH THEM

WOMAN THEN HANDS MAN A SET OF VERY LONG SCREWS APPARENTLY FOR THE CUPBOARD

WOMAN LEAVES KITCHEN
Goodnight, you can let yourself out when you're done.

MAN
I thought I was going to bust your backdoors in.

WOMAN (OOV)
Oh I forget there's a can of WD40 for that.

I think the pause between the man's first two bits of dialogue is a bit too long to be natural. It was a very economical sketch though, but the ending is just too crude and cheap.

Interesting, I was thinking of doing it virtually silently and may rewrite it with no lines or the only line being one about the backdoor.

As it is I think the "back doors line" may be crude, but it's a witty epigram that has Oscar Wilde spinning in his grave with jealousy.

Yeah, I think silently it would work quite well.

Soots, this is one of your most well written sketches but the actual material and content is very, shall we say Michael McIntyre? Maybe a slightly risqué B&Q advert, possibly starring Neil Morrisey and Leslie Fishlips.

Oi cheeky! It's easily one of my worst.

Quote: sootyj @ October 7 2012, 9:58 AM BST

v2

A MAN AND WOMAN BURST INTO A KITCHEN, THEY ARE DRESSED IN CLUBBING GEAR. THEY ARE WRAPPED IN A PASSIONATE EMBRACE.

THE WOMAN PUSHES THE MAN AWAY HE STAGGERS BACKWARDS

THE WOMAN PUTS HER FINGER TO HER MOUTH TO SHUSH HIM

THEN REACHES INTO A DRAWER AND PULLS OUT WHAT MAYBE A BIG SEX AID, THE MAN'S EYES BOGGLE

SHE HANDS IT TO HIM HE TAKES IT

AND DOUBLE TAKES IT'S A SCREW DRIVER (SHE WAS HIDING THE SCREW BIT IN HER HAND)

WOMAN POINTS AT A SPACE ON THE WALL AND SOME UNASSEMBLED CUPBOARDS BENEATH THEM

WOMAN THEN HANDS MAN A SET OF VERY LONG SCREWS APPARENTLY FOR THE CUPBOARD

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