A COUPLE ARE IN A POSH BURGER BAR (THE KIND WITH WHITE WALLS AND WOOD FLOORS)
WOMAN
After that horror with the kebab, we're having a civilised meal in a civilised restaurant. All these burgers are 100% prime quality meat.
MAN
Look I'm so sorry love, can I have a beer.
WOMAN
Yes.
MAN
Hooray.
WOMAN
You can have one half pint bottle of Mexican beer, with a lime in it.
MAN
Don't like limes.
WAITER APPEARS WITH BURGERS, MAN DIVES IN WOMAN DECOROUSLY NIBBLES.
THEN SUDDENLY CHOKES, SHE LIFTS HER BAP THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN PIGTAIL ON THE BURGER.
SHE VOMITS NOISILY.
WAITER (TO SOME ONE OOV)
Round the back you dunderhead!
WE SEE THE CHILD CATCHER FROM CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG DRAGGING A LUMPY BLOODY SACK INTO THE RESTAURANT.
MAN STARTS TO CHOKE, OPENS HIS BAP ON HIS BURGER IS A GLOWING FINGER.
MAN
What the f**k?
WE SEE A SCIENTIST DRAGGING IN A BLOODY SACK, THAT GLOWS FAINTLY.
WAITER
I'm sorry, can I offer you some complimentary olives?
