Quote: David Bussell @ September 18 2012, 9:47 PM BSTWhat was the tip?
I'll have a look next time I have a poo.
Status report Page 4,814
Quote: Oldrocker @ September 18 2012, 9:49 PM BSTI'll have a look next time I have a poo.
Go eat some prunes, I need answers!
Well, I'm about to have black pepper beef curry so I'll get back to you in about an hour or so !
"Radio GLK London is going off air for a quick cough and a fag."
Quote: Oldrocker @ September 18 2012, 10:21 PM BST"Radio GLK London is going off air for a quick cough and a fag."
What kind of Top Tip is that? Definitely not one I wrote.
I didn't 't win at life today either as I've a vile bloody cold which is in my eyes, nose, throat and stomach. 
Quote: David Bussell @ September 18 2012, 10:23 PM BSTWhat kind of Top Tip is that? Definitely not one I wrote.
No. That was me doing Hancock when one is going offline to do something else.
OK. The Top Tip was . .
Tight arsed blokes. At this time of year only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve.
Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won't have to shell out on a present until then, by which time they will have probably packed you in.
David Bushell
e-mail.
That really is tight-arsed shit. Just because your birthday is near Christmas doesn't mean you shouldn't get a present. My mother suffered like that cos she was Christmas Eve, so she made sure I always got 2 presents (mid-December)
Quote: Oldrocker @ September 18 2012, 11:42 PM BSTNo. That was me doing Hancock when one is going offline to do something else.
OK. The Top Tip was . .
Tight arsed blokes. At this time of year only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve.
Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won't have to shell out on a present until then, by which time they will have probably packed you in.
David Bushell
e-mail.
Yup, that's mine. You'd think they could have just cut and pasted my name from the email...
Quote: David Bussell @ September 19 2012, 12:16 AM BSTYup, that's mine. You'd think they could have just cut and pasted my name from the email...
This is Viz 2005 we're talking about !
I've just seen a woman's magazine with the front-page headline "8 New Ways To Orgasm".
Did the human body undergo some design changes recently? I must have missed the memo.
Quote: AJGO @ September 18 2012, 1:58 PM BSTAJGO just received an anthology in the post that has one of her stories in it. It smells lovely
Hurrah, the sweet smell of success!! 
Quote: AJGO @ September 18 2012, 1:58 PM BSTAJGO just received an anthology in the post that has one of her stories in it. It smells lovely
Ha! I peeked in a copy of "Fiesta Letters" in the newsagent and there it was: ALGO's story.
Congrats..
Hope it paid well.
Please don't hit me, I'm only little.
Quote: billwill @ September 19 2012, 11:46 AM BSTHa! I peeked in a copy of "Fiesta Letters" in the newsagent and there it was: ALGO's story.
Congrats..
Hope it paid well.
Please don't hit me, I'm only little.
PATELS OFF LICENSE AND NEWS AGENT ONLY 2 SCHOOL KIDS AT A TIME.
MR PATEL IS STANDING BEHIND THE COUNTER LOOKING GLUMLY AND CONTEMPLATING HOW BACK IN BANGALORE HE WAS A COLONEL IN THE INDIAN DEFENCE FORCES WITH A BIG HOUSE AND A CHAUFFER. AND NOW HE SPENDS HIS DAY IN A CRAPPY LITTLE SHOP SELLING CHEAP CIDER, TO RED FACED ENGLISH HOOLIGANS
WILL BILL WALKS IN WITH A STEP LADDER UNDER HIS ARM AND HIS ROBOT COMPANION
WILL BILL DOFFS HIS HAT AT MR PATEL SETS UP THE STEP LADDER AND CLIMBS TO THE TOP. BEFORE TAKING OFF A COPY OF FIESTA AND FLICKING THROUGH. HIS ROBOT COMPANION STEADIES THE LADDER
WILL BILL
Tee hee rudies! Ooh a letter from AVAGO!
MR PATEL THROWS A TIN OF ROSES AT WILL BILL KNOCKING HIM OFF OF HIS LADDER
MR PATEL
Get out of my shop you twinkly eyed pervert! And take your robot companion with you!
MR PATEL CHASES WILL BILL AND HIS ROBOT COMPANION OUT WITH A BROOM