MR POWERS STANDS OVER AN OPEN GRAVE FLANKED ON EITHER SIDE BY 2 PRISON GUARDS
STANDING OPPOSITE HIM ARE A COLLECTION OF GRIEVING RELATIVE AND FRIENDS GLOWERING AT HIM.
THE GRAVE IS SURROUNDED BY MANY BUNCHES OF FLOWERS
THE VICAR IS TAKING A FUNERAL SERVICE
VICAR
And so we bid fare well to poor Tracy taken from us before her time.
Shot by her heartless husband because she asked for flowers.
She's got them now.
MR FLOWERS SHRUGS AS IF TO SAY "well she's got flowers now"
You could have rewound slightly and have interflora deliver a box with Mr Powers saying something like, 'ok, I've bought you some flowers'. Then his wife opening the box to reveal a wreath and Mr. Powers pulling a gun out and smiling.
I was going with a version where he steals a wreath from a Toddlers fuenral.
Yeah, that's pretty dark.
Quote: sootyj @ September 18 2012, 11:33 AM BSTI was going with a version where he steals a wreath from a Toddlers fuenral.
I was thinking of something like this, but thought it was too close to that 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' episode with Funkhouser's mother's funeral.
Who is kidding who here?
I have read all three and still have no idea of who Mr Powers is or why any of it is being considered as funny? It is at best childlike.
To consider adding a child's wreath to enhance it smacks of sheer desperation coupled with a complete lack of taste or comedy timing.
If you're going to be shocking you need to be funny and these sketches are simply dire in my opinion.
Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ September 18 2012, 11:43 AM BSTWho is kidding who here?
I have read all three and still have no idea of who Mr Powers is or why any of it is being considered as funny? It is at best childlike.
To consider adding a child's wreath to enhance it smacks of sheer desperation coupled with a complete lack of taste or comedy timing.
If you're going to be shocking you need to be funny and these sketches are simply dire in my opinion.
We don't know the comedy timing yet. Not until it is put on video.
In Jam 1, you have the very first scene where the mum and dad of "Ryan" explain to Ryan's godfather how they have been getting routinely boned by Ryan and a gay man respectively. The aim of this was for the mum to keep Ryan straight, and for the dad to draw the attentions of the gay guy away from Ryan. They then requested that the Godfather should take-over their dutues for a few weeks, because they were tired from all the buggery.
Sounds tasteless and desperate, but when you see the final execution of the piece, it's creepy/atmospheric brilliance.
Not to say this series will be good, but no way to tell either-way at the moment.
But that's not this sketch is it?
The sketch I am talking about is at the head of the post.
I can only offer my opinion and for me there is no comedy either hidden or on display in these three sketches
And I still have no idea who Mr Powers or Mr Flowers are either?
Quote: SimonWing @ September 18 2012, 11:52 AM BSTWe don't know the comedy timing yet. Not until it is put on video.
In Jam 1, you have the very first scene where the mum and dad of "Ryan" explain to Ryan's godfather how they have been getting routinely f**ked by Ryan and a gay man respectively. The aim of this was for the mum to keep Ryan straight, and for the dad to draw the attentions of the gay guy away from Ryan. They then requested that the Godfather should take-over their dutues for a few weeks, because they were tired from all the f**king.
Sounds tasteless and desperate, but when you see the final execution of the piece, it's creepy/atmospheric brilliance.
It's not so much the timing as just an occaisonal thing I like to experiment with on extreme reduction.
e.g. Mr Powers girl friend wants flowers.
For some unnamed reason he won't buy any.
He does something increasingly horrible to her to persuade other people to buy her flowers.
That's it. The humour lies entirely in the irrational ends he will go to, to not buy her flowers. And the thoughtless selfish sadism involved.
So the joke is in the unanswered questions.
1 Why does she stay with this silent sociopath?
2 Why won't he buy her flowers?
3 Why does he go to such extreme ends, infact spending the rest of his life to avoid buying flowers?
I'd maybe have him just miss-out on getting flowers each time instead:
- Having him patiently waiting on the death (and subsequent funeral) of a child with Hodgkins Disease, but the kid pulls through.
- Training to win a Tour De France stage, but finishing 2nd (or 4th, if there's three on the podium).
- Faking his own death, but seeing in the local paper that his wife has requested "no flowers", in favour of a charity donation.
- Going to Japan for some beautifully-arranged flowers, and having them swiped by quarentine/customs (or whoever) at the airport.
- Another missed sporting podium finish (rally, Olympics or whatever).
- Going to the park, with a pair of scissors, and being raped in the bushes.
- Finally finding an Interflora, and a large meteorite lands on it.
Actually, these are shit. I apologise.
Not bad ideas but trickier than it looks.
it's one of the sketches where the idea is just to have you go "Why!?" or laugh. I'm actually not that fussed.
Maybe Mr Powers was sexually abused by a triffid or venus fly trap and is none too fond of flowers as a result.
That's probably already in there, it's reduction comedy so you could have missed it.
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ September 18 2012, 12:15 PM BSTMaybe Mr Powers was sexually abused by a triffid or venus fly trap and is none too fond of flowers as a result.
I was thinking maybe he got trapped with Mike Flowers Pop and he raped him whilst singing "Wonderwall."
That or he just has really bad hayfever.
Sooty this is not a personal attack but I would have to say that currently your output is designed more for 'In the know' posters than the man in the street shall we say.
In my humble opinion you would benefit from having a less reduced comedy content and aim more for the mainstream.
I'm not advocating that you drop to custard pies in the face level but you need to reign back on your clique appreciated approach.
Have you ever entered a place where there is an in joke flying around and you get the feeling you're out the loop?
Well that's what I'm getting from you at the moment, its all well and good having a few people who pat you on the back when you do something, but its a big world out there and your stuff at the moment is far too 'In House'