British Comedy Guide

Earliest memories

I can clearly remember being bathed in the sink by my dear departed mum, picking up the yellow jug used for washing my hair and tipping water out etc. It still seems clear to me. My hair has gone but the jug still sits on my dad's kitchen windowsill.

I can recall standing on plastic piano to reach the light switch in my bedroom only for the piano to break before I could click the button and I also remember being sat crossed legged in front of a black and white TV while my cousin was carried into the room as a babe in arms by my aunt. He's 43 on Saturday.

I blew a raspberry and it got a nice laugh.

And so it began.

I remember getting pushed over in the sandpit at my nursery, and being sang happy birthday to in Nursery, and the free milk.

I vaguely remember being in a pram and picking bits out of a bobble hat. After that, nothing, until being at school and looking across the wire fence to the neighbouring primary school.

I remember the rope breaking on the kitchen pulley just after my mother had hung the washing up. It was my birthday - possibly 3rd. birthday.

Also remember painting at the table and swinging too far sideways so I tipped over and landed in the cat's litter basin. Yuk!

Quote: L.E. @ September 17 2012, 1:19 PM BST

I remember getting pushed over in the sandpit at my nursery, and being sang happy birthday to in Nursery, and the free milk.

Ah, yes - the free milk. I was milk monitor and always finished first. I guess I had a head start.

I remember getting some toffees and a bulldozer truck toy thing. It was my third birthday.

I can remember playing with a big red car for my actionman under the dining room table. On the telly there was a news bulletin about the first moon landing and I remember my Mum telling me man was on the moon.

I also believe I remember the moon landing. I was only 3 but vaguely recall a very fuzzy black and white image and someone saying this is history in the making and the little sod has nodded off again...

Quote: Nicky Liar @ September 17 2012, 6:21 PM BST

I also believe I remember the moon landing. I was only 3 but vaguely recall a very fuzzy black and white image and someone saying this is history in the making and the little sod has nodded off again...

I know what you mean I think I would have been more interested in the Diddymen, Pinky and Perky or Noggin the Nog coming on. To be honest probably would be now.

I remember sitting at a table, and saying "I'm two" over and over, while everyone else said "yes, you are". Presumably I was two at the time.

Remember lying in a pram and a playpen in the garden.
And then I remember lying motionless on the surface of a swimming pool (I was like paralyzed) after I've fallen in....maybe my people noticed it and pulled me out again. Don't know how old I was then...must have happened before kindergarten. Those earliest memories are like the bits and pieces you remember of a hardcore drinking night. Fragmentary dreamlike memories...one don't know what is real and what is imagination...strange!

I rmember when I was two, I'd just written my first sketch & my Dad was furious as it didn't obey the rule of three or have a satisfying pay off.
In fact it was pretty illegible & written in permanent marker all over the white sofa.

I remember when I was 3, two quite distinctive and important points:

My first poo in the pink potty (I also had a blue one, for wees), and the time I trod on broken glass in the kitchen, barefoot. My mum taking me to the clinic, saying it won't hurt, and it f**king did.

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