Newsjack - Series 7 Page 4

Quote: StephenM @ September 17 2012, 11:41 AM BST

Much like the British Press I decided to stay well clear of the Duchess's breasts this week. Impressed myself by over-writing for the first time ever - I wrote 4 and sent off 3.

Even more impressed given the week's news has been pretty much:

People being killed in Afghanistan (Avoid)
Hillsborough (Avoid at all costs)
Islamic protests (Let's look at options 1 & 2 again)
Future queen's chest area (Well covered - insert own pun here)

And I guess when 12 noon ticks by we can ask each other what topics we went for.

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Nosey!

I actually couldn't think of a single thing other than what I ended up writing about (which was what...I hear you ask). The dialogue just wouldn't come. One-liners were a little easier for me this time round.

In terms of Hillsborough, perhaps the way to get around it is to write a sketch in which everyone at Newsjack says they won't make jokes about Hillsborough.

I tried to think of clever ways to write about Hillsborough and Kate's um, assets, but couldn't.

Instead I sent off sketches on
1. Vladimir Putin - turns out some of his stunts weren't entirely true to life... who would have thought!
2. Mike Tyson saying he wants to act in musicals... (was he joking?)
3. And to show how topical I can be... Richard III.

Ah...I could only muster up a few lines on Boris and his runway. I know...yawnage.

I did do a sketch on the royal boob thing. My logic is that they must cover this story, so even if they don't like my sketch they may use a line or two from it.

I also went with the handshake football thing.

Quote: crake @ September 17 2012, 12:18 PM BST

I did do a sketch on the royal boob thing.

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I also knocked one out over the pictures. I also covered Ricky Hatton's comeback and Nick Clegg's bigot backtrack.

I sent in two one liners, to get myself started. I've been out of the comedy writing for a while.

Here's a useful tweet exchange:
@NewsjackBBC given your cast, are sketches with more than e.g. two male characters impossible and rejected or just undesirable?

@stephenjburgess if three characters need to be male, we would just not use it.

Dan

Since I seem to have asked everyone indirectly anyway here were my three:

- Newsjack Film. Version of Billy Elliot in which Billy wants to be a footballer when everyone else wants to be an Olympian
- Islamic protests. Well indirectly in the sense of a pedantic group who are protesting about anyone who abuses or denigrates the English Language.
- Three-person IVF. Hilarious new sitcom called My three parents!

Quote: swerytd @ September 17 2012, 12:53 PM BST

Here's a useful tweet exchange:
@NewsjackBBC given your cast, are sketches with more than e.g. two male characters impossible and rejected or just undesirable?

@stephenjburgess if three characters need to be male, we would just not use it.

Dan

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Thankfully I read that before submitting #3 as 'My three dads'.

Ah, the misguided comfort of the autoreply email...

Sigh, really was an uninspiring week for news wasn't it? Would have liked to have done the education reforms nonsense, but the deadlines too early to get all the info on that.

I ened up submitting two somewhat olympic based sketches:
1. Clare Balding commentating on anything to keep the olympics alive.
2. Now that's what I call booing #80,000 - A CD of Osborne being booed.

Did have a third where the Royal Family admit to being massive nudists but I couldn't get it to make enough sense and figuring competition for the sketch on that topic would be fierce decided it was best to scrap it. Wish I'd persevered now if everyones avoided the idea. Still shall scrape the best lines for tomorrows vox pops...

Don't worry...I have a feeling the educational reforms will be on-going for a while yet. Plenty of mileage on that. Plus...the royals are appearing in the nud roughly every couple of weeks, so look out for that too. I hope it's not Fergie next.

The sketch deadline is a bit early for me on a Monday...barely had enough time to get up and moan at everyone about everything before it was upon me! I usually get things done before deadlines, but this topical slant really has me beaten. Okay...I'm just lazy...

Damn I didn't realise Newsjack started this week. Oh well, I can work on one-liners and start sketches this week.

Hazzah, first brilliant one liner written. Now nine more to go...

Quote: Gerry McDonnell @ September 17 2012, 12:31 PM BST

I also knocked one out over the pictures.

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I see what you did there Gerry.

I went for what I thought was an obvious one; a trailer for '50 Shades of Bieber' after he claimed they wanted him for the movie. Dropped my oblique Kate's boobs ref in there as I couldn't see how to cover them in a whole sketch.

I also did a diary for David Cameron's schooldays picking up on a few of the political themes of the last few weeks (reshuffle, Cable texting Milliband, Gove and the GCSEs, etc.).

I was quite pleased with them, which is usually the kiss of death. I look forward to the comments in critique later in the week.