British Comedy Guide

Sick Jokes Page 4

Quote: Tuumble @ August 23 2011, 1:36 PM BST

Little did I know that eight years later I was diagnosed with a mild form of epilepsy which I think qualifies me to tell the joke now.

What do you do if you see Tuumble in the bath?

Throw a little laundry in.

What's red and crawls up your leg?

A homesick abortion.

Quote: sootyj @ September 11 2012, 3:10 PM BST

What do you do if you see Tuumble in the bath?

Throw a little laundry in.

Quite remarkably, at this precise moment in time, I AM in the bath. C'mon everyone - throw in yer smalls...

That is utterly the most disturbing statement I've read this week.

And don't drop the phone in the bath.

So the US drought has led to American farmers feeding their cows surplus chocolate.

Who'll protect us from the herds of female standups?

Heard this one today...

Two Dyslexics locked in a room. One said "Can you smell gas??"
His mate said,"I can't even smell my own name!"

Don't shoot the messenger

Not bad boyah if not booyah

Ahem...

JD Sports are doing a Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuit. It's an adult sized top but you have to squeeze into the kids bottoms.

Quote: Nil Putters @ October 4 2012, 10:36 AM BST

Ahem...

JD Sports are doing a Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuit. It's an adult sized top but you have to squeeze into the kids bottoms.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Quote: Nil Putters @ October 4 2012, 10:36 AM BST

Ahem...

JD Sports are doing a Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuit. It's an adult sized top but you have to squeeze into the kids bottoms.

Just got busted laughing out loud at work cos of this Laughing out loud Awkward!!!

Quote: Nil Putters @ October 4 2012, 10:36 AM BST

Ahem...

JD Sports are doing a Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuit. It's an adult sized top but you have to squeeze into the kids bottoms.

That is brillo pads!!! Laughing out loud

Image

Laughing out loud

Just 'cus you all seem to like sick humour, I thought I'd share this music video for The Cream's Gonna Fly Tonight (NSFW) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Mg17lVhfVo

Why didn't anyone like Piglet?

Because he played with Pooh

Quote: johncountduo @ 6th August 2014, 12:16 AM BST

Just 'cus you all seem to like sick humour, I thought I'd share this music video for The Cream's Gonna Fly Tonight (NSFW) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Mg17lVhfVo

What happened to Bruce, Baker and Clapton?

How CAN you use the name of such a well-known and respected band? I know it's The Cream instead of just CREAM but still very bad.

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