British Comedy Guide

Lazy American Writer...

Just ran a Google search on "UK" and "Comedy" and this was the second site that popped up (the first being "The Gnomes of Dulwich"). I'm a lazy American writer/animator working on a recently funded animated pilot ("Fox and Bigfoot" at kickstarter.com). Anyway, we've got three british characters who sit around in a pub all day spouting authentic British dialogue. Problem is, like most American writers, I know f***all about writing authentic British dialogue. Not that that's stopped us in the past.

Anyone interested in playing a fun little game where I give you a line in "American" and you "Britishize" it for me? If I use it, I'll even put your name in the credits so you can be famous, like your hero Russell Brand!

Quote: CKent @ September 9 2012, 7:18 PM BST

Just ran a Google search on "UK" and "Comedy" and this was the second site that popped up (the first being "The Gnomes of Dulwich"). I'm a lazy American writer/animator working on a recently funded animated pilot ("Fox and Bigfoot" at kickstarter.com). Anyway, we've got three british characters who sit around in a pub all day spouting authentic British dialogue. Problem is, like most American writers, I know f***all about writing authentic British dialogue. Not that that's stopped us in the past.

Anyone interested in playing a fun little game where I give you a line in "American" and you "Britishize" it for me? If I use it, I'll even put your name in the credits so you can be famous, like your hero Russell Brand!

Why have you got 3 characters you can't write dialogue?

Are you a moron?

Hows that for authentic English dialogue you wanker.

Sooty you friendly c**t...

Check out this fackin' authentic English dialogue you slaaaaag!

Watch "Austin Powers" or "This Is Spinal Tap"! ;)

Spectacular, we've got three enthusiastic contestants! Here's the first line:

(Our character is describing the final scene of of the film "Vanishing Point")

"... he steps on the gas. The highway patrol has him surrounded. This is it, the moment of truth..."

So how would you word that, sootyj? Something about "bottles and stoppers"? Things going "pear-shaped"?

He gives it some welly, only the fuzz have got him rammed, this it and no mistake."

Solid gold! Another credit for your imdb page!

The next line is: "A smile pulls at his lips. Everything he's come to, crossed, and overcome now has meaning. He's got it all figured out..."

A dubious co-hort chimes in: "I don't think so. He's high. And you're crazy."

(Is "off your tit" still fashionable?)

Thanks, sootyj. You're a daisy.

This is some of the worst dialogue I've ever read. Your tin ear seems to have rust, who's funding this Al Quaeda?

He's got a big grin plastered over his chops, it's all come out in the wash and he's ready to dry his undercrackers.

Are you having a laugh? He's high as a kite and you're radio rentals!

Quote: CKent @ September 9 2012, 9:01 PM BST

"I don't think so. He's high. And you're crazy."

Alternatively

F**k off! He's twatted and you're just a twat!

Unfortunately, we're just a small, off-shoot faction called Jews For Jihad. If we had access to that Al Quaeda cabbage, do you think I'd be wasting my time with you popeblowers?

Pope blowers? I'm Jewish you f**king antisemitic yid c**t!

So is it "sootyj" in the credits, or just Koshie?

(I guess we know what the "j" stands for now)

My God I'd punch you in the hooter, but I'd never be able to find the end of it!

But yes Sootyj will do.

Thanks for playing along, ladies.

I'll send you a link (with your name in lights) if we ever get picked up, sootyj(ew).

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