SCENE: A BUSY BAR ROOM, WE SEE A MAN AT THE BAR WAVING A TENNER TO GET THE BARMAID'S ATTENTION
BARMAID: Hello sir, what can I get for you?
MAN: I'll have a pint of lager, please. John what are you having?
JOHN: Guinness please.
MAN: Tony, what about you?
TONY: My usual please, a pint of Old Peculiar.
MAN: And for you Kev?
WE CUT TO SEE A MAN IN FULL SCUBA GEAR
KEV (WEARILY): Just a lemonade for me.
MAN (INCREDULOUSLY): Lemonade?
KEV: Yes, I can't have anything else as I'm the designated diver.
Shouldn't it be four men walk into a bar..?
And can you tell me the name of the pub where I can get a lemonade, Guinness, lager and a pint of Peculiar for a tenner...?
Yeah, I'd change the ten to a twenty
Also, designated driver sounds too american to me.
I'd change to
KEV: Yeah, I'm diving
Made me chuckle out loud, if that helps!
Quote: Overlay @ September 9 2012, 4:27 PM BSTYeah, I'd change the ten to a twenty
Also, designated driver sounds too american to me.
I'd change toKEV: Yeah, I'm diving
But if you know any UK sports divers, you would know that your 'sketch' is just a slice of real life.
Yeah, pleasant little visual Tony.
Quote: billwill @ September 9 2012, 5:14 PM BSTBut if you know any UK sports divers, you would know that your 'sketch' is just a slice of real life.
I don't know any UK sports divers
Quote: Overlay @ September 9 2012, 10:01 PM BSTI don't know any UK sports divers
Pop into any bar near a good dive site. 
I'm pretty sure that I've been into a bar, while still wearing a wetsuit and modern drysuits are a bit of a pain to get in & out of, so if diving from a pier or their boat is going from a harbour it would not be unusual for a diver to go get a drink or sandwich while still wearing a diving suit. A sensible diver would not drink alcohol before going diving too.
Still it's the pun on driving & diving that makes it funny.
I saw a similar sketch on Swiss TV (yes!!) a few years ago. There you saw a woman that threw hearing aids at pigeons.
Another woman (joins and asks perplexed): "What are you throwing here?"
first woman: "Hearing aids"
second woman: "Why?"
first woman: "Ich füttere die TAUBEN/ I'm feeding the..."
you see, the German word "(die)TAUBEN" stands for "(the)pigeons" as well as for "(the) deaf".
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ September 10 2012, 8:58 AM BSTI saw a similar sketch on Swiss TV (yes!!) a few years ago. There you saw a woman that threw hearing aids at pigeons.
Another woman (joins and asks perplexed): "What are you throwing here?"
first woman: "Hearing aids"
second woman: "Why?"
first woman: "Ich füttere die TAUBEN/ I'm feeding the..."you see, the German word "(die)TAUBEN" stands for "(the)pigeons" as well as for "(the) deaf".
So what do they call deaf pigeons? (It doesn't matter as they can't hear you).
Quote: Nicky Liar @ September 10 2012, 12:31 PM BSTSo what do they call deaf pigeons? (It doesn't matter as they can't hear you).
Yes...you could call them "taube Tauben", but that sounds silly. So you'd prefer saying "gehörlose Tauben". But I don't know if there are much situations in which you have to think about such a sentence unless you are an animal doctor.
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ September 10 2012, 12:52 PM BSTYes...you could call them "taube Tauben", but that sounds silly. So you'd prefer saying "gehörlose Tauben". But I don't know if there are much situations in which you have to think about such a sentence unless you are an animal doctor.
Thanks for clearing that up Gordon. Despite not being an animal Doctor, I do worry about such things. I have a German friend in Cologne so I will try to crowbar this into the conversation the next time we speak.
Quote: billwill @ September 10 2012, 12:10 AM BSTPop into any bar near a good dive site.
I'm pretty sure that I've been into a bar, while still wearing a wetsuit and modern drysuits are a bit of a pain to get in & out of, so if diving from a pier or their boat is going from a harbour it would not be unusual for a diver to go get a drink or sandwich while still wearing a diving suit. A sensible diver would not drink alcohol before going diving too.
Still it's the pun on driving & diving that makes it funny.
I still don't know any UK Sports divers. I'm a God fearing Christian