British Comedy Guide

Turin Shroud?

Ext. We see three bearded men sat around a campfire. They are drinking beer and eating from a huge pot containing pulses, corn and beans.

JOSHUA: Jesus, tell Thomas about your discovery.

JESUS: You are going to love this Thomas. You know I haven't been to the toilet for a fortnight, well watch this!

Jesus ladels some more of the stew into his mouth washed down with more beer and a few gulps of air.

JESUS: Joshua, unravel the sheet and stoke the fire.

Jesus strips off and lies down on the white sheet with his hands crossed over his pubic area. Thomas is bemused but watches carefully.

JESUS: Right I'm ready Joshua, fold it over and tuck it in. Don't forget to leave a little gap...........OK light the taper!

We hear a humongous fart from beneath the sheet which Joshua has just lit. A strange blue/green light can be seen swirling beneath the sheet and all three men are bent double laughing.

Cut to the three men laughing and drinking by the fire. Camera pans to the sheet that has a perfect image of a man with a beard burnt on to it.

:D Heh heh! They'll burn you at the stake for that one..

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ September 8 2012, 8:33 PM BST

:D Heh heh! They'll burn you at the stake for that one..

Not a problem Stylee I've got asbestosis.......

Thanks for reading it. :)

Quote: Nicky Liar @ September 8 2012, 8:36 PM BST

Not a problem Stylee I've got asbestosis..

Well.. it might take a lung time, but..

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ September 8 2012, 8:38 PM BST

Well.. it might take a lung time, but..

Glad you got that off your chest.... :)

I think I'll take a breather..

Good one Nicky, nice descriptions as well. But does the title give it away a bit?

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ September 8 2012, 8:42 PM BST

I think I'll take a breather..

No, you air your views....

Quote: Shandonbelle @ September 8 2012, 8:43 PM BST

Good one Nicky, nice descriptions as well. But does the title give it away a bit?

Yes you're right. I have just watched a documentary about it where they couldn't explain it. Do you think it would work without the title?

Thanks for taking the time to comment, much appreciated.

:)

Quote: Nicky Liar @ September 8 2012, 8:43 PM BST

No, you air your views..

That could get me arrested.

I've just had a thought - your sketch: it's a bit of a relic! WAHEY!

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ September 8 2012, 8:47 PM BST

That could get me arrested.

I've just had a thought - your sketch: it's a bit of a relic! WAHEY!

This is critique, not antique....

Quote: Nicky Liar @ September 8 2012, 8:45 PM BST

No, you air your views....

Yes you're right. I have just watched a documentary about it where they couldn't explain it. Do you think it would work without the title?

From that angle then it's ok to leave it, it could be one of a series of guesses as to how the shroud was formed....next theory?? :)

Quote: Nicky Liar @ September 8 2012, 8:49 PM BST

This is critique, not antique....

Are you sure about that? I mean - it's yore sketch.

Double WAHEY!

Quote: Shandonbelle @ September 8 2012, 8:50 PM BST

From that angle then it's ok to leave it, it could be one of a series of guesses as to how the shroud was formed....next theory?? :)

Good idea, there's no shortage of conspiracy theories on Sky. JFK, 911, Moon landings etc.

Thanks Shandonbelle. I notice you've removed your picture from your profile. Why is that? Sorry for being a nosey bastard.

Stalkers.

Only joking, was thinking of changing it.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ September 8 2012, 8:51 PM BST

Are you sure about that? I mean - it's yore sketch.

Double WAHEY!

It's getting bit old now......

Quote: Shandonbelle @ September 8 2012, 9:04 PM BST

Stalkers.

Only joking, was thinking of changing it.

:D I only noticed 'cos, you, me Chappers and a few others are among the minority that posted our pics.

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