British Comedy Guide

Movies / Television vs Real Life Page 7

In all comedy films and television shows, the fat ugly lead always ends up with an incredibly attractive slim woman.

All childhood gangs consist of one of the following archetypes: fat, black, violent, nerdy, token girl and the unconfident but likeable leader.

There are no likeable French characters in British and American movies.

In modern Westerns, every thing is coloured brown, all other colours are strictly forbidden.

The plug ugly kid who only got the part because he is the producer's grandson always grows up to be a handsome leading man.

All white South Africans are violent thugs with funny accents.

Except for misunderstood child men who learn the error of their ways.

In American movies, it's racist to portray too many evil people as coming from one section of humanity, unless it's the English.

Quote: Nogget @ September 7 2012, 3:23 PM BST

In American movies, it's racist to portray too many evil people as coming from one section of humanity, unless it's the English.

And anyone from the southern United States is usually given short shrift*, mostly portrayed as backwards, racist, corrupt and violent. Despite Mark Twain and a number of notable academics, writers, scientists, etc. coming from the southern States.

*shrift is a weird word.

Quote: sootyj @ September 7 2012, 3:21 PM BST

All white South Africans are violent thugs with funny accents.

I thought this thread was for where the movies were different from real life? Huh?

In rom-coms, the boy and girl who hate then love each other, keep bumping into each other so much, that not even a tin foil hatted conspiracy theorist would believe it.

'You know that guy who I met at the party and thought was a jerk, we had to sit next to each other on the plane and he's my new neighbour and my new boss and now we have to share a hotel room together...etc.'

Anything supernatural/paranormal.

Thanks for your input Lee. Been thinking that one up for a while?

In a martial arts movie, your multiple opponents will always line up politely and wait their turn to attack you one on one, otherwise it wouldn't be sporting.

The moment you do anything remotely compromising or embarrassing the person whom you would least like to see this behaviour suddenly appears. If you are Miranda this happens without even a cursory attempt to explain why that person should be present at that particular location at that particular moment.

If you are cooking food for a party, the minute you taste it with a wooden spoon, the doorbell rings.

When hacking a computer, the secret password is always the birthday of a son or daughter and never 'supershagger69' or 'BarneysDinoCock'.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 7 2012, 4:40 PM BST

When hacking a computer, the secret password is always the birthday of a son or daughter and never 'supershagger69' or 'BarneysDinoCock'.

A very enlightening insight into the mind of Renegade Carpark there. ;)

Quote: Aaron @ September 7 2012, 4:42 PM BST

A very enlightening insight into the mind of Renegade Carpark there. ;)

I heard a comedian making a gag about choosing rude usernames or passwords and how this can backfire if you ever have to ring technical support and repeat the names. It was very funny.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 7 2012, 4:24 PM BST

In a martial arts movie, your multiple opponents will always line up politely and wait their turn to attack you one on one, otherwise it wouldn't be sporting.

Laughing out loud I was watching a movie just like that the other day, can't remember what was though.

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