British Comedy Guide

Johnny Christ (small section of my sitcom)

Had an idea for a sitcom and I've got the first episode all done. Here's the begginning. Please let me know your thoughts. Cheers

INT. JOHNNY'S LIVING ROOM - MORNING

JOHNNY CHRIST - The second coming. The son of God. The useless sod

JOHNNY is fast asleep on his couch. His entire body is under a duvet. His face is painted red. His living room is a mess with pizza boxes and beer bottles strewn everywhere. The ANGEL GABRIEL appears next to him.

ANGEL GABRIEL - Dressed all in white with angel wings and a halo

GABRIEL

Johnny

(a beat)

Johnny

(a beat)

Johnny!!!

JOHNNY wakes up with a freight. He is very hungover

JOHNNY

What? What?

GABRIEL

Look at the state of you. Whats that all over your face?

JOHNNY

Go away

GABRIEL

No, I will not go away

JOHNNY

I'll give you a fiver if you go away

GABRIEL

A fiver!?

JOHNNY

It's all I've got

GABRIEL

I'm an Angel. Why on earth would I need a fiver?

JOHNNY

I don't know. For a MacDonalds?

GABRIEL

I don't want a MacDonalds! I'm Angel Gabriel! I can't just walts into a MacDonalds!

JOHNNY

Oh la-di-da

GABRIEL

Get up!

JOHNNY

I don't want to

GABRIEL

I don't care if you want to or not! Why were you not at church yesterday? God's going nuts up there you know

JOHNNY

He's my dad! Why do I need to go to church!?

GABRIEL

You're brother worked very hard to get Christianity on its feet!

JOHNNY

Brilliant. Jesus again. I love hearing about him. Arrogant sod. Oh Jesus died for our sins. Oh Jesus turned water into wine. Oh Jesus parted the sea

GABRIEL

That was Moses

JOHNNY

Who?

GABRIEL

Are you serious?

JOHNNY

Go away

GABRIEL

Get up! You've got visitors coming round soon

JOHNNY

What visitors?

GABRIEL

Two Nuns

JOHNNY

Oh for Christ sake

GABRIEL

You're using your own name in vain! What's wrong with you?

JOHNNY

Nuns are so boring

GABRIEL

They're here to pay their respects! We can't let everyone and their uncle know you're the second coming can we? Look what happened to Jesus

JOHNNY

Jesus again

GABRIEL

It's true! These nuns are your protectors! We have to let them come around and pay their respects!

JOHNNY

I never asked to be the son of God

GABRIEL

Neither did Jesus

JOHNNY

Is that all you talk about?

JOHNNY flings the duvet off of him and sits up. He is dressed as a red devil

GABRIEL

What the!? Why are you dressed like that!?

JOHNNY

Dressed like what?

JOHNNY looks down at himself

JOHNNY

Oh yeah. We were out on the lash last night. Fancy dress

GABRIEL

You're dressed as the devil!!!

JOHNNY

So? Technically he's my uncle

GABRIEL

No he isn't!

JOHNNY

So I can't dress up as the devil but it's ok fo you to dress up like an Angel?

GABRIEL

I am an Angel! I'm Angel Gabriel!

JOHNNY

Yeah, you mentioned that before. Bit full of yourself arn't you?

GABRIEL

Get that costume off immidiately!

JOHNNY

Alright! Stop shouting! My heads pounding!

GABRIEL

You're unbelievable!

(Continued)

Based on the small snippet I don't see a sitcom, I see decent banter and a pretty decent extended sketch.

To comment on it as a sitcom is impossible as I can't see where it is going over six episodes.

I think you should accompany this post with synopsis so it is easier to gauge if it has legs.

If it is going to continue as a 'too and fro' job then its a sketch for me.
Never the less it was funny and easy to follow apart from the (Beat)?

Ok, thanks mate

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ September 6 2012, 3:36 PM BST

I think you should accompany this post with synopsis so it is easier to gauge if it has legs.

Agreed.
it could be brilliant, but the storyline needs to be as audacious as the premis, not just Christ slobbing around.
The film "Dogma' is a great reference for how far you can take a premis like this.

I laughed at 'JOHNNY wakes up with a freight..'

Nice dialogue. Would like to see where this is going.

I feel like I'm a party pooper.. but I'm not laughing at anything in Critique at the moment. I think this is piss-poor.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ September 7 2012, 12:09 AM BST

I feel like I'm a party pooper.. but I'm not laughing at anything in Critique at the moment. I think this is piss-poor.

Ouch. Well at least you're honest

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