When someone looks something up in a thick book e.g. Who's Who and they drop on the exact page first time.
Movies / Television vs Real Life Page 3
In films (again imagine a Bond like situation) when you hit someone on the head he immeadiately and quietly loses consciousness. In real life he either dies or he screams, bleeds like hell and tries to defend himself.
In movies, people get violently killed all the time, but rarely does anyone go to the toilet. Maybe if they answered the call of nature more, they wouldn't feel like killing each other so much.
People always go on journeys and learn things about themselves in films and TV. They never do in real life.
When a man and a woman bump shopping trolleys in the supermarket, it is always a prelude to romance. No one ever says: 'Oi, watch where you're going, you c**tknocker'.
All muggers are middle aged white men.
In soap operas, whenever they show any character getting into a car and driving, someone is getting knocked down.
Crises happen, which get resolved at the end.
Real life is rarely like that.
Villages are filled with quirky, colourful, friendly characters who can be easily won over by strangers.
If you go anywhere without mobile phone reception, you will be attacked by monsters and psycho killers.
The best way to hack a computer is to type really, really quickly on random bits of the keyboard.
Quote: Kenneth @ September 5 2012, 1:10 PM BSTI knew one woman who did. No physical defects to hide. She was just worried about gravity and eventual sagging spoiling her exquisite figure.
That's like those people who buy an expensive model car and never take it out of the original packaging.
People go into a pub and order "a pint" and the barman does not ask "a pint of what, do I look like a f**king mindreader?"
Whenever somebody says "I've got something important I need to tell you", the other person never says "shit, what is it?" Instead they interrupt and say "There's something I have to tell you first", the relevance of which always forces the first person to abandon their original revelation.
In movies cops check if a substance is cocaine/heroin by tasting a fingertip full of it...without considering it could be anthrax or strychnine
Quote: Tursiops @ September 5 2012, 3:37 PM BSTPeople go into a pub and order "a pint" and the barman does not ask "a pint of what, do I look like a f**king mindreader?"
No one ever asks or is told how much a drink is in American films. The barman hands them a beer and they just throw some dollars on the table and walk off.
All street hookers look like Julia Roberts instead of constantly shaking emaciated dinner ladies covered in facial sores and bruises.
And this is the weirdest one of all - in an age of mobile digital technology, whenever there is a major disaster, people in New York still crowd around television rental shops to watch the news on old TVs without sound and through the window.
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ September 5 2012, 3:50 PM BSTIn movies cops check if a substance is cocaine/heroin by tasting a fingertip full of it...without considering it could be anthrax or strychnine
If the stuff is pure, that little finger's worth would be like snorting ten lines of coke.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 4 2012, 9:40 PM BSTParking Space -
Whenever someone has to drive somewhere, there is always a parking space available right outside when they arrive.
Microwave Ovens -
They show a grotty criminal living in the most disgusting apartment ever. He goes to nuke a meal, pushes aside a dead rat on the filthy work surface, yet when he opens the door, the inside of the microwave is spotless.
Quote: bigfella @ September 4 2012, 9:48 PM BSTChess
Strangely the only move ever shown is the final one - checkmate.
Quote: sootyj @ September 4 2012, 9:59 PM BSTNo one in EastEnders owns a washing machine, but they can have breakfast in the cafe every day.
Quote: Matthew Stott @ September 4 2012, 10:01 PM BSTAlso people who lived in a street for three years a decade ago will turn up again, even though the only person who was around back then and still lives there is Ian. And they don't like Ian.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 4 2012, 11:02 PM BSTSomeone being handed a scaldingly hot cup of coffee and immediately taking a massive gulp
People lying in bed asleep when the phone rings and then answering it with perfect diction instead of knocking the phone to the floor and going 'Wha?'.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ September 5 2012, 2:25 PM BSTWhen a man and a woman bump shopping trolleys in the supermarket, it is always a prelude to romance. No one ever says: 'Oi, watch where you're going, you c**tknocker'.
All muggers are middle aged white men.
Quote: Tursiops @ September 5 2012, 3:37 PM BSTPeople go into a pub and order "a pint" and the barman does not ask "a pint of what, do I look like a f**king mindreader?"
In TV/Movies when someone is posting on a forum, they always go to the top of the next page.
Doesn't happen in real life . . . . .
In restaurants people always look at the menu then order 'the special' and the person with them always says - I'll have the same, even though two people almost never order the same thing in a restaurant and the special isn't on the menu.
Witnesses to murder always phone the detective and say they know who did it, but instead of giving the name arrange to be met somewhere dark and remote within traveling distance of the murderer.
Two people talking stand so close to each other they wouldn't be able to focus their eyes.
In movies when a woman meets a man via forum/e-mail/whatever the bloke turns out to be a handsome, nice and cultivated widower and not a sad, fat paedophile loser as in real life.
...and even if he is a psychpathic murderer he at least looks rather charming.