The Paralympics are too elitist. They need to be more inclusive.
These are some events we came up with in the pub the other night:
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Fat Bloke Hurdles.
Attention Deficit Disorder Marathon.
Stood-On-A-Plug 200 Meters.
Dyslexic Dicsuc.
Having-A-Heart-Attack High Dive
Male Pattern Baldness Parallel Bars.
Ingrowing Toenail Triathlon.
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You get the idea...
https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/25162/
Sootyj of course got it right.
Unidexter 3 legged race
Incontinent synchronised swimming
Mixed nymphomaniac all in wrestling.
One legged man arse kicking contest...
Three legged horse dressage.
Midget Tossing - either type.
I wouldn't mind seeing a swimmer who has two prosthetic Dolphins for legs.
And then he complains when the guy in the next lane has speedboats.
Sailing for the chronically sea sick.
Late Night Telephone Sex Adverts Find The Volume Dash
Well I for one would like to see the Paras jumping and floating down in formation which is what I expected when I selected the viewing option on seeing the programme announced!
Blowing the candle out for Cleft Palate sufferers...
Labour Cabinet Buying A Pasty F**k-Up-a-Thon
The Giant Warsi boost.
The Steeple chase for people who don't like getting their trainers wet.
Literal Blind Mans Buff
Haemorrhoid Hurdles
Siamese Twin Rodeo
Mobility Scooter Fencing
Tramps running around a greyhound track chasing a bottle of cheap wine attached to the hare. You could use a velodrome if you were stuck.